When You Love Again...

When You Love Again, 

after life-altering loss - 

everything inside of you, 

freezes 

in terror,

that you will again wake up,

to the very real nightmare,

of a world

where all of it

has disappeared. 

 

When You Love Again, 

after death has stolen your other life, 

and your partner - 

you fear looking forward

or toward the future,

because the minute you do, 

it all might come crumbling down, 

and you will be left, 

Alone. 

With the wreckage. 

 

When You Love Again, 

you panic 

you can't breathe,

every missed connection, 

every text not returned,

every phone call met with silence - 

because that text,

could have been the last one 

OR

the silence,

could mean that they were perfectly fine

two seconds ago,

but now they are forever dead. 

Again. 

 

When You Love Again, 

you want to spend more time

hugging each other, 

and kissing, 

and listening to music while eating ice-cream

in the car. 

You want to really hear their laugh, 

or look into their eyes with purpose, 

as if you are memorizing them,

so that they wont ever go away from you. 

You want to spend more time being silly, 

and less time nitpicking,

about things that do not matter. 

You want to find humor in your faults together, 

instead of tearing each other down,

in subtle ways,

as so many lovers do. 

You want to keep discovering each other,

over 

and over

again. 

You want to learn,

and grow, 

and evolve,

into the very best versions,

of who you were always supposed to be,

Together.

 

When You Love Again, 

and you truly open your heart to it,

you can actually feel it expanding, 

and making room for this beautiful person,

carving out space reserved just for them. 

 

Your heart knows, 

that this Love is special, 

because it is built on the foundation

of being loved greatly,

by the one you lost

to death. 

 

When You Love Again,

and truly make the choice to love greatly,

you do so with reckless abandon,

with dare in your soul,

with incredible passion and insight,

with burting joy and gratefulness,

for every single moment 

that Love 

comes walking in. 

 

You break every barrier,

face every challenge, 

feel every complicated emotion,

dance together in the kitchen, 

hold each other through horrific trauma,

see each other through unspeakable pain, 

sit with each other 

and be each other's All, 

through chaos

through hurt 

through hard transitions. 

 

Maybe this time around, 

there will be Aging together. 

 

Maybe this time around, 

there will be home-buying,

or double-digits in the

anniversary years. 

 

Maybe this time,

dreams will be realized,

retirement will be experienced,

changes will occur,

and

nobody will die. 

Well, 

at least not for a very,

very,

very,

long time. 

 

When You Love Again,

you take the risk,

you live with the fears,

so that you can have 

the Love. 

You try to stay in 

the Now,

even while

remaining hopeful

that Tomorrow

will come. 

 

You glow in the light of 

being someone's person. 

You understand 

that connection 

to another human being,

is the reason

for Everything, 

and you let yourself 

Fall

and be One 

with the miracle,

that comes from loving,

and being loved. 

 

And the world feels different,

and off it's axis,

and you feel giddy,

and powerful against the things,

that want to get in your way. 

 

The trees are made 

from candy,

and the sky 

was made 

just for the two of you,

and the grass

is made from gold.

 

And nothing

will ever be 

the same. 

And you

will never be

the same. 

And life feels

like a 

Miracle,

and you

can do anything,

with Time

as both your enemy,

and your 

best friend.

The world is your Adventure,

and you are 

each other's 

Way,

When You Love Again ...


Showing 3 reactions

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  • Iryna Dreamer
    commented 2019-06-20 07:35:54 -0700
    Your blog is full of love and delight. Thank you so much. I come to read it any time I feel disappointed over something and it helps me a lot.
    https://studentshare.org/
  • Mi Fasola
    commented 2019-06-18 08:26:32 -0700
    Yes. I did love again after my spouse of 40 years died. It lasted 8 months and at best it was disappointing. These idealistic images may not ever happen for me again. I’m not holding my breath waiting.
  • Kelly Mac Millan
    commented 2019-06-17 17:54:54 -0700
    I shared this with my widower boyfriend. He’s nine years out – I’m 3 years out. We thought it was perfect in so many ways. Thank you Kelley Lynn! Kelly Lynn MacMillan @kellymac1212