What We Can't See .....

09_16_09.jpg.... can't hurt us, right?

Or at least that's what we thought when we were 3. (The above picture is of Son #3 at Disney World with his beloved band Aerosmith's hat upon/over his head.)

But I wonder .... do I still think that what I can't see can't hurt me? 

I think I'd have to say the answer is yes. Why else would I only concentrate on the here and now, one step at a time, one breath at a time? Why do I not dare to look out at the future, which appears to be grey and very foggy when I do take a moment to lift up my head and peer out into the fog.

I don't look for very long because the fog and the grey hurts.

But guess what?

It used to be an inky blackness that caused so much pain it took my breath away. So I'm thinking that grey is an improvement. Not a huge one, true, but it's a step forward anyway.

My day to day life doesn't look grey anymore ..... not every day anyway. Yes, there are still some dark days, but when I take them one at a time I'm finding that I can manage them and that I'm even finding smiles hiding in the day. Some times even a belly laugh or two.

So for now, I will keep my hat pulled down firmly over my head about the future and what it does or does not hold. I doubt I will always see grey. In fact, I know that one day, in the not-too-distant-future, I will raise my hat up over one eye and peer out for a brief look. And on that day, the grey will have lightened to beige.

But until that day, I'm still good with taking it one day, one step .... one breath at a time.

Because I think that's progress.

And that's something.

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