The Interview

As this posts I will be on my way back to my little grass shack in Hawaii from my adventure in the UK. I planned to have things posted so I needn’t worry about posting from who-knows-what wifi I will have while I am away. But I can only imagine what I will be thinking about when I return.

I feel impelled forward into this strange, new life. I feel carried away by it all. And I’m not sorry for it, even as I know I will carry the pain of missing Mike every single second of it all. I find myself thinking so often now, how fast time is speeding by…how fast my life is passing…and how quickly Mike’s life went by.

I am so incredibly grateful I got to be a part of it. But it all seems so fleeting. In the end, memories is what I have. It’s all we will really ever have.


Before I left I got an email from someone who found me online and wondered if I would be interested in having the recording of an interview he taped with Mike a year or two before he died, about his career and the people he knew and trained. 


Of course, I did. I have some recordings and video of Mike…not enough though so this is a treasure. When someone dies suddenly and unexpectedly, that is what we are left with…so many questions, so many unfulfilled dreams…so much we wish we’d said and done. But it is so incredibly hard to hear his voice again…I haven’t listened to this whole recording yet. 


Maybe when I get back I’ll have the strength to.


I wish he were still here. I wish I would have thought to have written down more details about his life…even despite the 14 years of stories I heard when he was alive, I still have so many about his life, his philosophy, his teachings…what was that story about that guy again? What happened to you then again? Where did that sword or bow come from again? …and just…how much I would love just one more night together on our lanai, drinking wine, listening to music, talking about nothing and everything…


I wish I wish I wish.


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  • Stephanie Vendrell
    commented 2015-08-27 22:37:51 -0700
    Thank you Rebecca. Yes I still need to listen to it all, it is indeed a treasure. I wish I’d recorded more while he was still here, but who was to know. I am home but jet lagged for a few days I’m sure!
  • Rebecca Collins
    commented 2015-08-27 22:16:31 -0700
    How wonderful to be given this treasure of a new recording! You’ve reminded me that I’ve been meaning to video more footage of my parents, especially as they play with my nephews. I hope you arrive home well rested!