Seconds filled with thoughts turn to minutes and the minutes to hours. It’s only been 3 months so there isn’t going to be a whole day that I won’t be affected by losing you. In all honesty, I will never go a day without missing you. So why does it feel like everyone else has forgotten you?
When you left, I was surrounded by family and friends. They were watching my every move and analyzing my every word. I was instantly under a microscope being dissected in hopes they would find a cure. There is no cure for life without you. There is only numbing and bandages until the break in my heart heals enough to beat stronger again but the scar will always remain.
“Do you feel you are getting over it?”
It? It? What is IT? Losing my person? Being left suddenly alone? Being made responsible for all of the bills? Having to empty closets? Having to watch objects in my life be taken and sent away to others because instead of signing a marriage license we had to rush a Will? What exactly is the “it” you are referring to?
“Do you feel you are getting over losing Clayton?”
Ahhhh, so Clayton was the “it”. Clayton – a human being. Clayton – your friend. Clayton - my other half. Clayton – my dog’s other dad. Clayton – my nephews’ “Uncle Tin”. Clayton – my love. It’s been 3 months and you now refer to him as “it”.
Most of those people that gallantly came to check on me at my lowest have gone silent. I feel forgotten. I feel like Clayton has been forgotten.
This must be what they mean when they say “out of sight, out of mind”. I’m still here and I still think of Clayton every day but we have been forgotten….