The Stress of Being Stressed

This will not be a long post today.

I apoligize.

I think I just spelled that word wrong.

I apoligize for that too. 

Recently, I got my Real Estate license. 

Also recently, some very big things have happened that affect my life greatly. 

Things have changed and altered. 

The future I was looking toward, finally, 

now has a different view. 

Its not gone. 

Not exactly. 

But its altered. 

And it was sudden. 

And its a lot. 

And Im stressed. 

Really, really stressed. 

Im sorry (again) to be so vague, and so short here. 

Short, becauase Im writing this in a rush before another long day at work,

training and classes about new technology being rolled out by our brokerage,

and learning the Real Estate world - 

a world I only got into because my husband is dead,

and many sacrifices have been made since then. 

Leaving NY. Changing my whole life. Moving in with my parents. 

Selling cars. Needing new ones. Having no money. Finding ways to get some. 

Taking jobs I dont really want or love. 

Spending less time on things I DO want and love. 

Real estate is good. I do like it. 

I think Im just feeling resentful. 

Today. 

Right now. 

In this moment. 

I feel as if pieces of my life are being taken away. 

Again. 

And I had no say about it. 

It took me years to look forward to a future again. 

That future is still there. 

But it looks different. 

I want some EASE in my life again. 

There hasnt been much of that. 

Just stress. 

So thats why this blog is short. 

I have no time lately. 

To write. 

Or do things that feed my soul. 

 

The reason this blog is vague 

is because its not my story to tell. 

Even though all of it affects me greatly. 

I am so used to babbling on and on in here

about whatever I want to,

in my life.

But when you have a partner

who you love dearly,

like I do,

you have to respect their privacy,

and let them tell their own story,

or not,

in their own way. 

So Im being rather quiet about 

all the things

that are going on. 

Im getting myself a therapist,

someone to talk with,

which I hope will help. 

And a few close friends know 

whats been happening,

and that helps too. 

And nobody has died. 

So that always helps. 

 

Nobody died today. 

Right now,

thats all I got. 

Ill take it. 


Showing 4 reactions

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  • Mary Turek
    commented 2019-08-30 18:52:43 -0700
    Oh I understand, making decisions that I wonder if they are right for me, would this be what Frank would do? It’s so hard now on my own, I will never get used to this. And it’s only been 8 months
  • Karen Lawrence
    commented 2019-08-30 17:10:05 -0700
    You have been such a help and comfort to me with your book and your posts. I really hope things work out for you with whatever is going on. Wishing you comfort and peace. And thank you for continuing to share your journey with us. I hope you realize what an impact your words have on us.
  • Jeri Kelly
    commented 2019-08-28 08:22:29 -0700
    Reading your book now and almost at the end. Widowed 5 years this upcoming Thanksgiving, which used to be my favorite holiday. You’ve helped me tremendously. Be good to yourself. Life on life’s terms sometimes sucks. Sending love and good juju. Jeri
  • GRinNJ Ggnj
    commented 2019-08-23 06:15:45 -0700
    Wishing you peace. Be gentle with yourself.