The Sting of Spring

As the first anniversary of Tin’s passing ebbs closer, I find myself at the gate to the last season of the firsts. 

I’ve made it through the summer days at the beach, cookouts and fireworks. I’ve made it through the changing leaves, crisp fall air and a Thanksgiving I wasn’t very thankful to experience. I’ve made it through everyone else being happy through the holidays, singing carols, holding hands by the fire and kissing on New Year’s.

Spring is a double-edged sword. I want to get through it but once I’m through it the first year is passed and that makes it more real. The sting of spring is sharp as everyone else emerges from their gentle hibernation. Their grass is greener. Their breezes are warmer. Their blooming flowers smell sweeter.

In the season of rebirth and renewal, I carry on my journey not refreshed from a winter slumber but worn down from a year of emotional erosion. If we are considered a block of stone and our life experience carves our statue than grief is a widow’s weathering wind…

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  • indie
    commented 2019-02-28 07:51:18 -0800
    emotional erosion……..
    the widows weathering wind…….

    How we all find such poetic words to express the depth of our loss…….thank you
  • Stacy Lambertson
    commented 2019-02-24 13:37:47 -0800
    I’ve had many firsts these past few months also. First Thanksgiving & Christmas without my husband Craig. I didn’t handle it well at all & stayed home alone & confined with my dogs. I wasn’t ready to be around anyone. I lost my husband 5/19/18 after a strong fight with cancer & he was the strongest person I ever met. He did everything to make my life easier even as he suffered at the end of his life. With this winter being extremely lonely & harsh weather just made it more difficult to be without him but I live everyday trying to tell myself to be as strong as he was.