We also scare people because we’re their worst nightmare. Sometimes I want to say, “don’t worry, your husband won’t die too if you hang out with me”

❤️❤️❤️

We share our anniversary date. I had a much longer marriage than you, but my husband was only 55, so I still feel robbed. Sometimes I buy myself an anniversary present. It kind of gives me something to look forward to about the day. Last year I bought two beautiful maple trees for our yard, but I haven’t decided if or what I’ll get this year.

Really enjoy your letters to Drew each year!

Also from Ontario. Looking forward to reading about your journey.
And so true. Inspirational? Strong? Really? We had no choice, we’re just doing what we have to to get through the days.

I want to say that I 100 percent agree with you. There is absolutely no comparison to our losses and their divorces.
But as a relatively young widow, 54 at the time, those around me, who all still had their spouses, didn’t know what to do with me. I ended up meeting a newly divorced woman who became a wonderful supportive friend. We both had suffered losses and were grieving, but obviously differently. The important thing was that she never compared, never started a sentence with “at least you had”…. But we have a lot in common, fumbling our way around running households on our own, money issues, lonely Saturday nights, etc.
The big thing here is that she was respectful and didn’t compare, which is your point.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. I save almost all your posts and re-read them all the time. I hope you know you put into words what a lot of us are feeling.

Enjoyed your talk. Great job!

my joyful thing: it’s my sister’s 50th birthday this weekend. Sometimes things have been a little strained with her, but I think after my husband dying, maybe her realizing life is short and family is special, she’s really come around. We had a lovely dinner out with a few other siblings. She was appreciative and emotional, and it was lovely.

Wow, a very wise woman indeed.

Are you going to show us a picture of what she made?

Seems weird to say welcome, so I won’t, but I look forward to reading about your journey here.

Yes, that urge to call them and tell them things. I guess it doesn’t go away.
Oh, and congratulations!

How do we explain that total feeling of loneliness when we in a room/house full of loved ones?

Know that you and the other writers help me every week!

Sadly I’ve been reading this blog for over a year, and I think this post has touched me the most of all so far.
Beautiful. Thank you so much!

Wow, this post resonated with me so much that I want to forward it to everyone I know. I too am exhausted, and I know a lot of it is also from poor eating habits and lack of exercise. I have just in the last couple of weeks decided to do something about this and am hoping that other things sort themselves out if I can work on those two things.
Clusterfuck is the perfect word to describe our situations.
I don’t really wish for anything either. I hate that I can engage with people, and do fun things, but find joy in nothing. My children are in their mid twenties so not getting married and having babies yet and I’m so glad because I am not sure I could handle the bittersweet ness of it all.

Teresa