i dislike them.

i always have

(and i'm pretty sure i've mentioned that here before).

I'm having computer problems, so I'm writing via my iPhone. Today I moved into my new home. It's a home I fell immediately in love with. During the past few days I have trying to coordinate so many things at once, and found myself amazed at how smoothly it was all going. As others have pointed out to me lately, life seems to be going my way.

everyone tells me

that my daughter

looks like her mother.

and when i say

everyone, i mean everyone.

*our family.

*our friends.

*strangers who've only seen photos of them.

...

one by one,

with each trip

to minnesota,

they started to appear.

new to me.

new to maddy,

In what has become a tradition of ours, this Tuesday my kids and I placed roses in the sand. We tend to commemorate milestones related to my wife and especially the anniversary of her death by going to her favorite place, the beach. Inevitably whatever flowers we have wind up being planted ever so gently in the sand. Some years we'll add a short note and 'sign' the sand...others years (this year) we let the flowers speak for themselves, a silent testimony of love, one for another.

I just returned home from dinner out with the kids. It’s a nice rainy night, and we were all so warm and cozy inside the restaurant. It was the usual mix of merriment, and frustration, with us trying to have a good time, yet my daughter and I having to sit through the boys’ ongoing bickering. I shouldn’t be too surprised, as I don’t think I liked my older brother much until we both became adults. 

are the memories i have mine, or do they belong to someone else?

i think about that a lot.

gray and black hair,

missing teeth,

reeking of booze,

wearing a shirt that

said, "vote no on yes."

I get up each morning, turn off the alarm, then go downstairs to get my boys up for school. I shower, get dressed for work, make sure the pets are taken care of, then off we go. My days are getting busier now that I am working once again. I go about my day, eager to learn all the new things about my job, getting to know new people, and putting on a smile whenever I pass someone in the halls. As the morning continues, I feel myself sink, and I find myself taking in deep breaths of air.

in a drawer.

in a bag.

some yarn.

a notebook.