It started with a call from CJ (my brother in law), letting me know that he and Kenzi we're heading to the hospital to have their baby girl.
Rewind to 9 months earlier, it was another dinner and movie night at our home and Kenzi and CJ walked in, stood in the entrance and announced they were pregnant. When the words came out of their mouths, it was one of the moments in which the finality of Michael not being there to be a part of this chapter of their lives sank in.
Jackie is moving into her new home this week, and so I am filling in for her today. One of our readers commented on this previous post, and after reading it myself I thought I'd share these thoughts once again. I find that every time I read something from the past...I learn a new lesson for the future. The question I am answering today is whether I felt Phil's presence in any specific way after his death....Read more
My three year old nephew, Gabe, told my sister, "Uncle Jeff died, but he still has his imagination."
I love this idea. The belief that 'his imagination' or mind is still intact brings me huge relief and comfort.
I was listening to a song this weekend and for some reason I heard a loud message in it that I've not heard before. For whatever reason I felt like Daniel was trying to tell me something. Still trying to figure it out, but thought I'd share it here.Read more
“Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. ‘Pooh?’ he whispered.
‘Nothing,’ said Piglet, taking Pooh’s hand. ‘I just wanted to be sure of you.’”
I'd be lying if there weren't moments where I begged for a sign, dream, feeling that you were here...around.
I haven't called Jeff's number in almost two years. In the first few days after he died, I called him repeatedly....apologizing. Wishing I could have saved him. Begging him to come home.
His cell phone number is still programmed into the home phone and my cell phone. I will never be able to delete it. If it is on my phone, it seems that he is just a call away. Not too far.
This Christmas the veil between where Phil is and where I am seems to be much thinner than in years past. Michelle and I once talked about the "feeling" of knowing our husbands were in the room.Read more
My husband LOVED to run. When we first began dating, he was training for the Los Angeles Marathon. At the time I could not imagine why anyone in their right mind would purposely run 26.2 miles, but as a newly in love girl I willingly accompanied Phil on many training runs.Read more
The weather on the day of Daniel's funeral was spectacular. It was early November, 75 degrees and beautifully sunny. When they covered his grave, all of the funeral flowers were placed on top of it. Although the service was long over, family and friends still lingered, and no one seemed ready to leave. I know for me it was a finality I wasn't yet ready to experience. The kids were playing in the cemetery, picking flowers, running around the headstones, finding the joy in the situation as kids tend to do. I have a very clear memory of watching my son with his cousins as they each picked a flower to keep in Daniel's memory.Read more