...... these are our wedding rings. A circle in a circle.
I had them put together like this at about 9 - 10 months out. I wear them on a necklace.
I haven't worn them in a while, but lately, I've felt a strong pull to wear them. A lot.
I don't know why and I've learned to not question things that I feel pulled to do.
I have also felt the missing of him stronger lately.
I'm sure that one thing is connected with the other.
I don't know why, I just know
What follows is my own opinion. I know it is not everyone's and I am truly glad to live in a country where I am free to vote for whomever I wish. I am grateful to have a vote when so many women are denied this right. ...and I also appreciate the freedom to express my opinions here.Read more
I used to love Corn Nuts. My husband Don hated Corn Nuts and used to make fun of me all the time for eating them."What is the attraction to these things?" he would say. "Its like eating plywood."
"Yes, but it's cheese-flavored plywood!", I would retort as I crunched close to his face to purposely annoy him. "Jesus, could they be any louder? I think that's the loudest food on earth." "You're the loudest food on earth".
Depression. It's my dark shadow. I've been living with it since my late teens. Even so, it can still trick me.
For the last few weeks I've been under its spell and up until today I didn't realize it. Instead of seeing the depression as the REASON I feel as though everything is hopeless and life sucks, I have been thinking that I'm depressed BECAUSE everything is hopeless and life sucks. It's a big distinction but depression has an incredibly convincing way of telling me terrible things and getting me to believe them all.
I am nowhere near ready to start "dating" again, or "getting myself out there" again, or fall in love again. I am still madly and deeply in love with my dead husband, and I am just not in that place where it feels right to invite someone new into this life with me. Not now. Not yet. I don't know when.
However, there is something that I do want. Let me rephrase that - there is something that I desperately need more and more each day and each hour, after just passing the 2-year mark of my husband's sudden death: