I just returned from England and decided to sift through posts I wrote on my first "once-in-a-lifetime" trip after Michael was killed. This poem sums it all up...My life here without him...my presence on this earth...my impact from that which he embedded in my being.
The sentiments and feelings are still the same...as well as the love:
Labels are words that used to describe ourselves and others - a way to quickly and efficiently identify traits and tendencies.Read more
After Michael was killed my equilibrium for life was off. How things and actions made by me were gauged, I can't quite say would fall under the category of "adventure", as my reasoning behind certain decisions was semi-based off the hope that maybe I'd join Michael sooner than later.Read more
As we walked he wrapped his arm around my waist.
I leaned in, not away.
As we talked he looked into my eyes (so sorry for the corniness of that statement)
And I looked back, not down.
This weekend I'll be at the Austin City Limits Music Festival. 8 stages, over a hundred bands, but to me it is so much more.
Last October, my best friend (and fellow widow) and I ventured out on the green grass, drinking wine from sports bottles, listening to amazing music, having a grief/stress free time.
When I first was able to entertain the thought of marrying again, I was certain that I would fall to pieces when asked to utter the phrase, "till death do us part." Those four words mean something completely different now that I know what parting actually feels like. In fact, I often teared up when discussing my fear of this phrase with Michelle...before there was any threat of actually having to say it! So as my wedding to Michael approached, I was nervous about the vows section of our ceremony. Would I be able to speak?Read more
I have nothing to write.
I had a completely relaxing day.
I dropped Langston off at school for his game
and on the way home
I cried so hard I had to pull over.
It's that time of year.
That time where I'm able to fulfill one of the biggest dreams Michael and I had.
To travel across the world.
Portions of the following post are from about a year and a half ago...at the time I really thought I was better, and all things considered I was.
About three years ago I started joking with Michele that I wanted to wear a black t-shirt with word "bitter" printed on it to identify myself as a bitter widow.