Someone recently asked me if I thought my current relationship would have a happy ending. I'm sure that person just meant to ask if I pictured being with this man from now on, but I was a bit stunned by that question and just said, "I hope so." As soon as those words came out I instantly thought, "Of course not".Read more
As a parent, I have often found saying NO to be easier than saying YES. Over the years I have made a conscious effort to consider the questions my kids ask me before I blurt out a negative response. Many times I realize that the reason I say NO is that I don't want to take the time to weigh the pros and cons of the request. I will confess that there have been more than a few times that I have squashed one of my children's earnest pleas with a backhanded motion that means absolutely not...and then found myself in their room an hour later apologizing and reconsidering.Read more
Meet bouncing baby boy Christopher - the newest addition to David and Leslie's(bro and sister-in-law) family. Christopher was born yesterday (yes, for today only he can't say "it's not like I was born yesterday"!). I haven't met my newest nephew yet. I intend to today and I can't wait!Read more
I spent some time last week reading through my old journal. I wrote in it almost every day for a year after Daniel died. Every once in a while I read through it to remind myself of how far I've come. It's been over a year since I've looked at it, and it was some rough reading. I felt so sorry for that poor woman (yes, me). It was painful to relive those moments and read the anguish in my words. Sometimes, I still feel that intense anguish, fortunately most of the time it is a low level regret and sadness.Read more
I have often said that anyone whose spouse has died should receive an automatic, lifetime, get-out-of-jail-free card. This card would be used for things like avoiding leaking faucets, flat tires, broken fences, faulty plumbing, and critters stuck under the house or in the chimney. This all purpose pass should also free the bearer from: teenage temper tantrums, homework and school projects, cooking dinner every, single night, nosy neighbors, unsolicited advice, ugly break-ups, and pretty much any other difficult or trying situation...for the rest of our lives. Period. Right?Read more
The other night I was enjoying dinner with one of my great friends. She is also a widow and will be coming up on two years since the loss of her soul mate.
As we sat and enjoyed our meals, drinks, conversation and company, it became obvious that in a restaurant full of people, we were the only ones laughing, smiling, toasting and enjoying the evening to the fullest. At one point, a waiter even came up and commented on how we brought "happiness" to the abode.
... are not two things that I've felt a lot of over the past two years.
Not that I haven't experienced quiet .... I have .... sometimes too much quiet, right? But I haven't felt the quiet .... inside of me. Not like I used to anyway.
But there are days now ..... finally, that I am feeling more at peace .... and more quiet.Read more
Well, usually there is some drama or some burning question to discuss on a Tuesday....but so far, so good! What do I blog about when things are just pretty
good? Nothing terrible to report this week, no self actualization, no amazing realizations...just normal life. I guess that is something, isn't it?Read more
In my pre-widow life I was fortunate to have lots of friends. We bonded over jobs or kids or committee work or a combination of any/all of these. I knew the value of girlfriends who set you straight when you are weaving a self-destructive path, those who would hold your hair at just the right moment, and the ones with whom I could share my child rearing woes. Each and every one of these unique relationships enriched my life, and I remain grateful for every person that I have called friend.Read more
..... even when someone new enters your life.
There is no cure for grief.
It must be traveled through.Read more