Someone once said that it is knowledge sets us free, but as I've learned, everyone's knowledge is different.
After Michael died I knew nothing but one thing in life. I could no longer answer questions on why or how things turned out as they did. I could not tell you right from left. As time has passed though, I have embraced the unknown and learned to accept it as a companion on my journey here on earth.
I must admit...I love films. Foreign especially, but anything thought and emotionally provoking will do. What can I say? Michael and I first kissed while watching "American Beauty", it's just the kind of couple we are.Read more
I must say, with each passing year it's as if another layer of sludge is washed away from my life....The life that began the day Michael was killed. I life I used to loathe to the core of my being.
But for once, I've been watching, I've been learning. I've been trying to understand that which I don't, and yet, with no answers I smile with the reflection.Read more
It's here. My fourth year of not being able to refer to my love alive.
But as somber as it sounds, it's also my fourth year of being living proof of just what the power and strength of love can get you through.
Another year I venture into without Michael. Officially the 4th year that I cannot reference Michael to being in.
****This is a re-post from last year, but still one of my favorite moments in seeing the spark reignite in my family, as if the light had been turned on and they looked past his death and forward into his life. I'll update next week on what gift they made/got for him! Merry Christmas****
Last Christmas my family started incorporating Michael back into Christmas by filling a stocking full of gift-cards, gadgets and more that Michael would have loved....but I could use. It was heartwarming to see them remember and bring to life some of his favorite things and places from memories passed.
This Thursday will mark our 5 year wedding anniversary. As I've stated through the years, this day has always been more difficult for me than any other...including the day he was killed.
You see, I don't define Michael's life and our life together by the day he was killed, I've always defined it by our eternal love, and no day signifies that more than when we exchanged vows.Read more
I'm just really tired. I've sat and thought of something to write about but it eludes me and my lids become heavier. It's December, the hardest month of every year since Michael was killed, someone very close to me is ill, I have amazing things going on too, and it piles and piles. I have a damn grain of sand in my shoe of life.Read more
It took 3 years to do it. 3 years to put up the Christmas tree.
The Christmas season has always been a favorite of mine. Growing up, I remember walking down the stairs to those twinkling lights and the warm sense of joy.
I loved the season so much that Michael and I got married on December 23rd.