It's come.

The time for me to step away as a writer for Widow's Voice and let another share their life with all of you…to heal and learn in new ways and see things from another's view.

This moment was inevitable, as the only permanence in life is impermanence (as we all know too well…hence us being here), yet I want to share a bit of what it has meant for me to have had the honor to share my life with each of you over the past 6 years (0r 5...holy smokes…widow brain!).

It's been said that once we have found the true path, destiny unfolds before us like a red carpet.   

There are many things I'm certain of in and of myself:


I am strong.

I am resilient.

I am confident.

I am driven.

I am passionate.

I am a rebel.

I am a lover.

I am a giver.

I am a life embracer.

But I must be honest.

Last year, I found myself challenged.

I know with V-Day having past, that it's good to have reminders that their love lives on. So I'd like to share this favorite story of mine:

It was February 12th, 2009, and I decided to do something I had given up after Michael's passing...create homemade Valentine's Day cards. Making cards was one of my favorite things and with it being a dismal part of the year, I was secretly hoping it would lift my spirits. Michael used to love recieving them and seeing all the little touches I'd add to make it special.

I was having a farewell dinner this evening with a friend...which usually equates to sharing our thoughts on life and all that it teaches/has taught us thus far.

At one point during our conversation, he looked at me and said, "Taryn, there was a quote from a book that changed my life. I want to share it and I want you to absorb it."

Intense!

That was the word floating into my head with such a preface!

"Ok." I responded, taking an exaggerated inhale as some sort of sign to show him I was prepared.

He opened his mouth and the words poured out:

"All that is not given is lost."

I recently came across this quote and found it spot on!

Even nearly 7 years later, I find others questioning my choices (new and old) on how I have not only survived Micheal's death, but chosen to thrive, grow and live afterwards.

It made me realize that although Clementine hit the mark, she forgot a necessary factor.

She forgot to add something that is  important for all survivors to understand.

I've been traveling a ton the past week and in the midst of that, found myself looking through notebooks filled with quotes and thoughts that have inspired my being.

One in particular, stuck out this evening:

"Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding."

Whoa!

Though I love to come here to share my thoughts, experiences and words, there are moments that I come across things that speak so poignantly that it must be given the space to spread to those who deserve to hear it.

This letter is one I found this evening that I know so many who have lost, struggled, hurt and suffered, should read.

Written by a stranger. But a human. Who has gone through who knows what in their lifetime.

May it impact you the way it has for me:

Hope is the feeling we have that the feeling we have is not permanent.  

~Mignon McLaughlin

It's a new year and, with that, I'd like to rewind to the beginning years of Michael's death.

I dreaded a new year.

One in which he hadn't lived.

He hadn't existed.