I just got off the phone with my good friend Dominic. We don't talk to each other too often, maybe once a month, but when we do, I always feel so good. He lives up in the Bay Area, from where I moved from last year. We have been to many of the same places, and always have similar stories to share with each other. He's originally from my new home city of San Diego, so we also often talk about our favorite places here, and share recommendations about places to eat or visit.Read more
When telling a story, Jeff or I would occasionally correct each other's rendition of the tale. Although I am always as truthful as possible, there were times when either of us would need a reminder of the facts of a past event and it was comforting to know that I could always ask him some small memory that was remembered by both of us. "How long was Liv's labour?" "Remember that road trip to Hardy? Why did we camp at the side of the road?"
It seems, however, that my grief stricken brain rewrote a little part of history without my consent.
It all starts with the question I would sometimes get after Jeff's death, "When are you planning to take off the ring?"
The relationships that I have formed with other widowed people are by far the quickest bonding experiences of my life. Somehow the kinship of loss has regularly transcended the other differences that are often obvious between me and a new widowed friend. Before Phil died there were a variety of things that might influence how long I spent getting to know someone...do we share a passion for the same music, are our children the same ages, is there a recreational activity that we have in common? But once I was widowed, I really just wanted to meet other people who were also living with the daily reality that their spouse wasn't coming home.Read more
Being a widow is a lot of things. Scary. Sad. Lonely. Guilt-ridden. But an unexpected side effect of the loss of my spouse is the humor and hilarity.
Maybe I was funny person before. Maybe it has been in me all along. But after spending time again this year at Camp Widow, my cheeks hurt from laughing....and I didn't spend the time giggling at myself.
it started off
much the same way
it did the year before
(in a bar),
but i have to say
that the 2010 version
was even better
.... is exactly how I felt this past weekend.
(Yes, this is another post about Camp Widow .... but I don't think we can help it.)
I felt wonderfully safe and secure there. Among people that I already knew .... and among people that I had just met (which means that I have more Facebook friends!!).
There are no strangers among widowed people.Read more
I hadn't really thought about it until Friday night, but at the Camp Widow welcome reception, it was decided we needed to get a photo of all of the widow's voice bloggers. It occurred to me then that we'd never all been in the same place physically. Emotionally we are here on the blog daily. Physically? We're spread across the country. The actual photo you see here wasn't taken until Saturday night, when we were all together and looking quite fabulous!Read more
I'm here at Camp Widow in San Diego.
I videotaped the room full of us widows clapping.
And now that I am trying to post it, I'm not sure it's working.
Frustration is on my shoulders, my wrinkled brow and scrunched up eyes.
After an hour of searching and trying solutions, I don't know if any of them will work and I feel defeated and completely unable to cope.
I'm here at the 2010 Camp Widow in San Diego and having an amazing time thus far.
In the amazing connections I've made in such a short time (it's how we widows work...warp speed), I've been recalling something I've learned in the 3 years since my baby's death, but is brought even more to the forefront in an environment such as this, where growth is 'aplenty.
Today I begin my journey to the Soaring Spirit's Loss Foundation's Camp Widow. I feel as if I am running to the arms of dear friends.....although some of these people I have never met.Read more