Sharon D Wall

  • commented on Breaking Silence 2016-05-22 23:21:03 -0700
    Sarah – I’m so glad you can share the happy times and combine them with the wretchedness of grief. Wretchedness – what a great word!

    In a million years I could never have imagined how grief and happiness could merge, but they are – they do. However, no matter how many wonderful things happen in my life, there will always be a dark edge because Brian died. I would love life to be simple again and to have the rose colored glasses within reach, but – no. Not going to happen. Damn.

  • commented on Everything's The Same 2016-05-22 23:06:39 -0700
    Me too – would pick up where we left off and it would be wonderful. Except it won’t happen. Almost 2 years. Damn!

  • commented on I'm Just Here 2016-05-19 15:48:36 -0700
    So sorry for your friend’s loss. It’s great she has you for a friend.

    I’ve also thought it might be a good idea to always carry some of Brian’s ashes with me, but figured it might be creepy – yet another one of those conversations one can’t have just anywhere. I’ve scattered small amounts of his ashes in special places, but, at almost 2 years, they are mostly still in a beautiful wooden urn beside my bed and I kind of like it that way for now.

    Thanks for once again writing about one of those things we can’t or don’t often talk about.

  • commented on Unresolved 2016-05-17 12:21:40 -0700
    Mike – writing this post took a lot of courage. Thank you. I’m guessing that most, if not all of us, have unresolved “stuff” with our spouses – I know I do. A relationship is a dynamic thing so it makes sense to me that there will be unfinished business – but, in my experience, it’s not something that is talked about very much. The parts of your relationship with Megan that you wish you’d done differently are teaching you what you need to do in your relationship with Sarah which is great. And, for what it’s worth, Sarah’s love for you and Shelby comes through loud and clear in her posts.

  • commented on It Took Me Ten Years 2016-05-16 15:23:02 -0700
    Your post makes me smile. I parted with a lot of Brian’s stuff very quickly – too quickly I sometimes think – but I kept many important things – hats, knives, hiking socks and gloves (which I wear all the time). And I have a ton of heavy extension cords of various lengths which I felt I had to keep and road safety stuff in the same bag he always used – kind of feels like he’s there keeping me safe when I’m on the road – which is a lot. Your post helped me see more clearly what a comfort those things have become. I suppose when the socks have holes, I may throw them out – or perhaps not. Or maybe they will never get holes – he bought high quality socks.

  • commented on The 5-Year Itch 2016-05-13 09:52:00 -0700
    Thanks for this great post, Kelley. Lots of this resonates for me especially the restlessness! It’s been a constant companion for months.

    I continue to be amazed and surprised at how grief evolves over time. I’m so glad for this blog and SSI or there would be many days when I would think I was going crazy.

  • commented on What I Can't Tell you~ 2016-04-28 22:16:48 -0700
    Fuck is really the only word that works in our world. I’m almost 23 months out and I hate, hate, hate that my soul mate is dead. FUCK!! FUCK CANCER!

  • commented on No Magic Answers 2016-04-28 22:02:42 -0700

    I would like the magical device you mention in your first paragraph, and if you find it, please, please share.

    After our fucking losses, so many decisions need to be made that are out of our comfort zone and, on one hand I hate it. On the other hand, I wonder how bad it would be if I make a “bad” decision? Can’t I change it? Go in another direction? Are there absolutes? Not likely. It’s all part of the journey, painful as it might be.

    I hope your court stuff goes as well as it can, but no mater how it goes, YOU will be okay, my friend. I’ve been following you online for quite a while now and I have confidenence you can get through this. Use your online support as needed. ❤️💔💙

  • commented on Upon This, I do Insist~ 2016-04-20 20:58:05 -0700
    I can feel the passion you shared with Chuck when I read your posts. Thank you for that.

    It’s so strange that grief can bring us to our strongest connection to life, but I agree that it does.

    And 6 months in the DSM – really? How ridiculous. At 6 months I couldn’t even focus enough to read a novel.

    For me grief is like this ever changing blob that I have trouble grabbing onto and understanding, because it’s different each day – different colours, different textures, sometimes in the shadows and sometimes right in my face, but always there.

  • commented on And so they danced 2016-04-14 23:10:21 -0700
    What a wonderful story. Wendy sounds amazing, and telling her story is part of John’s legacy and an inspiration to us.

  • commented on Oh, the Road of Crazy~ 2016-04-14 23:07:53 -0700
    Lately, as I approach the 2 year mark since Brian died, I feel more like this than ever before. On the outside, people tell me I look freaking great! On the inside, so often I’m a wreck. You’re right – It seems like I can’t show anyone how this really feels – often pretend. It’s so isolating and exhausting. I was a social worker for many years and working with grief was always a large part of what I did, but nothing, nothing, nothing prepared me for this.

    And Jane – 3 1/2 weeks! It does get less awful – really it does, but I know you can’t believe that now. So glad you found this site so early on.

  • commented on Back to Start 2016-04-08 20:09:07 -0700
    Love your comment, Carrie and couldn’t agree more.

  • commented on The Lows 2016-04-08 18:30:14 -0700
    First – I’m sorry you’re having a bad week, Stephanie. Those weeks suck and so does dealing with court! I hope all goes as well for you as it possibly can.

    I don’t often comment on your posts, mostly because as I read them, I usually say to myself, “yes, yes, yes” , and by the end I can’t figure out anything to say other than that. Even though you’re a bit farther out than I am, what you say resonates with me so much. As I’ve said before, I think having the support of this community becomes more important, or maybe important in different ways, as time passes.

  • commented on This Carrying~ 2016-04-08 18:10:35 -0700
    I can feel your pain as I read your words. Yes, isn’t it amazing that the pain and stress of grief hasn’t killed us. It sure surprises me lots of days. Thanks for your post and your raw honesty, Alison.

  • commented on The Landscape of Love after Love 2016-04-03 22:43:17 -0700
    What a beautiful post, Sarah. Like you said – this shit isn’t easy. Nope. Sometime I also long for the familiar, including the things that pissed me off about Brian – like always leaving a couple of hours later than “I” planned because he thought he was ready to go but really had 25 things he still HAD to do. I too was always the planner in our relationship and, in this new relationship I’m needing to let go of some of that because I’m spending time in the world he knows. Fun, but different, and yes – part of learning to love after love.

  • commented on My Life With Grief 2016-03-31 17:17:58 -0700
    Geez, Stephanie! You did it again! Every post you write I say to myself – this is exactly how it is for me!!

  • commented on Visiting with Old Memories 2016-03-13 09:38:42 -0700
    What a beautiful post, Rebecca! I love how you describe visiting the happy memories.

  • commented on Familiar Roads 2016-02-26 18:39:10 -0800
    As always, thank you for your post, Kelley. I’m in kind of a similar place and it’s great to hear your perspective on the unexpected new directions in which our lives moving (and yours too, Stephanie). It’s fun and exciting, triggers all kinds of stuff and some days makes me miss the familiarity Brian and I developed over the years. I wish only good things for you as your after life continues to unfold.

  • commented on Validating my Truth 2016-02-08 21:11:43 -0800
    I’m so glad you connected with your sensitive, wise colleague. I’ve been experiencing the same thing. Very few people, including close friends, say Brian’s name unless I mention it first, and even then, lots of people seem uncomfortable. Sigh… It’s not like I’m going to forget he died. HELLO!! He will always be important and I will always find comfort in talking to others about him – as you will with Dan.

  • commented on "The Change"... Not "The End" 2016-02-08 20:38:10 -0800
    I love your post, Sarah. It was such a treat to see you and Mike enjoying each other together in Toronto in Sept.

Retired. Living from one travel adventure to the next, but still caring about politics that affect Canadians.
Donate Volunteer Membership