Sharon Wall

  • commented on This Ugly World...but, oh, the Love~ 2016-06-16 22:32:22 -0700
    My world felt so much safer with Brian in it.

    And yes, I agree that love must be stronger than the hate we are witnessing in the world.


  • commented on A Letter to My Younger Self 2016-06-13 00:12:16 -0700
    Lean into it. Best advice ever. We can’t avoid it, go over or around it. We must lean into it.

    I forwarded this post to a friend – and the best hairdresser ever – whose partner recently died suddenly – way too soon, knowing it would resonate with her.

    Damn it – I wish this club we belong to would stop getting new members, but crap continues to happen.

  • commented on Strange New World 2016-06-12 23:59:52 -0700
    It truly is crazy. I recently spent the second anniversary of my husband’s death in Hawaii with a man who has become very special to me. At the same time I was reliving Brian’s last moments I was both enjoying time with this new man in my life and grieving the loss of my husband. There is no language adequate to describe the contradictions of loss and new love. Thank you for putting words to my rather surreal experience.

  • commented on Never Far 2016-06-10 19:51:02 -0700
    Yes, Stephanie! All of that. exactly what I’ve been thinking but haven’t had the words.

  • commented on A Light In the Dark - My Tribute to Soaring Spirits International 2016-05-29 10:34:26 -0700
    Great post, Kelley Lynn. Penny – I will also be in Toronto – see you there.

  • commented on Pre-planning your Emotional Response to Death...Ain't it Precious? 2016-05-25 11:42:49 -0700
    Diplomacy?? Really?? 😆 I love your response to this woman, Alison. Yes, a person can say those words ahead of time when we’re sure it will never happen to US, but that ain’t reality. Your last paragraph is reality.

    I have a person in my life who tells me, Brian wouldn’t want me or her to feel sad. Brian wouldn’t want us to carry on so. Wel, damn it – my feelings are my feelings and I claim them and will feel whatever I need to feel for as long as I need to feel it. And yes, grief and sadness is all mixed up with happy memories and moving forward, but that only makes this mess more tangled up. It will be 2 years on June 1.

  • commented on Breaking Silence 2016-05-22 23:21:03 -0700
    Sarah – I’m so glad you can share the happy times and combine them with the wretchedness of grief. Wretchedness – what a great word!

    In a million years I could never have imagined how grief and happiness could merge, but they are – they do. However, no matter how many wonderful things happen in my life, there will always be a dark edge because Brian died. I would love life to be simple again and to have the rose colored glasses within reach, but – no. Not going to happen. Damn.

  • commented on Everything's The Same 2016-05-22 23:06:39 -0700
    Me too – would pick up where we left off and it would be wonderful. Except it won’t happen. Almost 2 years. Damn!

  • commented on I'm Just Here 2016-05-19 15:48:36 -0700
    So sorry for your friend’s loss. It’s great she has you for a friend.

    I’ve also thought it might be a good idea to always carry some of Brian’s ashes with me, but figured it might be creepy – yet another one of those conversations one can’t have just anywhere. I’ve scattered small amounts of his ashes in special places, but, at almost 2 years, they are mostly still in a beautiful wooden urn beside my bed and I kind of like it that way for now.

    Thanks for once again writing about one of those things we can’t or don’t often talk about.

  • commented on Unresolved 2016-05-17 12:21:40 -0700
    Mike – writing this post took a lot of courage. Thank you. I’m guessing that most, if not all of us, have unresolved “stuff” with our spouses – I know I do. A relationship is a dynamic thing so it makes sense to me that there will be unfinished business – but, in my experience, it’s not something that is talked about very much. The parts of your relationship with Megan that you wish you’d done differently are teaching you what you need to do in your relationship with Sarah which is great. And, for what it’s worth, Sarah’s love for you and Shelby comes through loud and clear in her posts.

  • commented on It Took Me Ten Years 2016-05-16 15:23:02 -0700
    Your post makes me smile. I parted with a lot of Brian’s stuff very quickly – too quickly I sometimes think – but I kept many important things – hats, knives, hiking socks and gloves (which I wear all the time). And I have a ton of heavy extension cords of various lengths which I felt I had to keep and road safety stuff in the same bag he always used – kind of feels like he’s there keeping me safe when I’m on the road – which is a lot. Your post helped me see more clearly what a comfort those things have become. I suppose when the socks have holes, I may throw them out – or perhaps not. Or maybe they will never get holes – he bought high quality socks.

  • commented on The 5-Year Itch 2016-05-13 09:52:00 -0700
    Thanks for this great post, Kelley. Lots of this resonates for me especially the restlessness! It’s been a constant companion for months.

    I continue to be amazed and surprised at how grief evolves over time. I’m so glad for this blog and SSI or there would be many days when I would think I was going crazy.

  • commented on What I Can't Tell you~ 2016-04-28 22:16:48 -0700
    Fuck is really the only word that works in our world. I’m almost 23 months out and I hate, hate, hate that my soul mate is dead. FUCK!! FUCK CANCER!

  • commented on No Magic Answers 2016-04-28 22:02:42 -0700

    I would like the magical device you mention in your first paragraph, and if you find it, please, please share.

    After our fucking losses, so many decisions need to be made that are out of our comfort zone and, on one hand I hate it. On the other hand, I wonder how bad it would be if I make a “bad” decision? Can’t I change it? Go in another direction? Are there absolutes? Not likely. It’s all part of the journey, painful as it might be.

    I hope your court stuff goes as well as it can, but no mater how it goes, YOU will be okay, my friend. I’ve been following you online for quite a while now and I have confidenence you can get through this. Use your online support as needed. ❤️💔💙

  • commented on Upon This, I do Insist~ 2016-04-20 20:58:05 -0700
    I can feel the passion you shared with Chuck when I read your posts. Thank you for that.

    It’s so strange that grief can bring us to our strongest connection to life, but I agree that it does.

    And 6 months in the DSM – really? How ridiculous. At 6 months I couldn’t even focus enough to read a novel.

    For me grief is like this ever changing blob that I have trouble grabbing onto and understanding, because it’s different each day – different colours, different textures, sometimes in the shadows and sometimes right in my face, but always there.

  • commented on And so they danced 2016-04-14 23:10:21 -0700
    What a wonderful story. Wendy sounds amazing, and telling her story is part of John’s legacy and an inspiration to us.

  • commented on Oh, the Road of Crazy~ 2016-04-14 23:07:53 -0700
    Lately, as I approach the 2 year mark since Brian died, I feel more like this than ever before. On the outside, people tell me I look freaking great! On the inside, so often I’m a wreck. You’re right – It seems like I can’t show anyone how this really feels – often pretend. It’s so isolating and exhausting. I was a social worker for many years and working with grief was always a large part of what I did, but nothing, nothing, nothing prepared me for this.

    And Jane – 3 1/2 weeks! It does get less awful – really it does, but I know you can’t believe that now. So glad you found this site so early on.

  • commented on Back to Start 2016-04-08 20:09:07 -0700
    Love your comment, Carrie and couldn’t agree more.

  • commented on The Lows 2016-04-08 18:30:14 -0700
    First – I’m sorry you’re having a bad week, Stephanie. Those weeks suck and so does dealing with court! I hope all goes as well for you as it possibly can.

    I don’t often comment on your posts, mostly because as I read them, I usually say to myself, “yes, yes, yes” , and by the end I can’t figure out anything to say other than that. Even though you’re a bit farther out than I am, what you say resonates with me so much. As I’ve said before, I think having the support of this community becomes more important, or maybe important in different ways, as time passes.

  • commented on This Carrying~ 2016-04-08 18:10:35 -0700
    I can feel your pain as I read your words. Yes, isn’t it amazing that the pain and stress of grief hasn’t killed us. It sure surprises me lots of days. Thanks for your post and your raw honesty, Alison.

Retired. Living from one travel adventure to the next, but still caring about politics that affect Canadians.
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