Sometimes the Scary Thing Brings the Most Support - Sharing

So I’ll finally share with you that when Clayton passed away I was terrified of the insecurity and my financial stability. I had no idea what to do and the thought of getting a third job (because grief is my second job) was overwhelming.

At the time, my sister had started using essential oils and had just started sharing them with her friends and was able to earn a little money on the side.  In her desire to help after Clayton’s death, she sent me some of their products and I began resting better.  It also gave me something I could focus on and learn about. So my sister, being amazing, said “Let’s do this business together. You can do as little or as much as you want.”

I was hesitant for all the reasons someone could have been but I was at rock bottom and this was the only rope being thrown down to me. I said yes, grabbed the rope and started to climb. That was a little over a year ago. I have worked hard at my own pace and that hard work has paid off financially enough for me to cover the bills. Not millions of dollars but no grandiose dream was ever promised to me. No rug has been pulled out from under me and everything has been straightforward and legitimate. No I’m not going to name the company, this isn’t a sales pitch. This is part of my journey through widowhood and if I didn’t share then I wouldn’t be honest. And since the importance of sharing is the point of this week’s post..

Since Clayton had passed, I held many things in. Let’s be honest, I held and hid many things while I cared for him. I didn’t want him to see me upset and I buried those feelings. I didn’t share with many because I had to be strong but, since his passing, the need for the emotional dam doesn’t exist and the dam is starting to crumble. If I don’t share, that dam will break and so will I. As hard as it is, I need to share my story because that is my Why. Why I can go on.

You see – the team I’m involved in has resulted in something amazing that I never expected out of deciding to join my sister in this business – A support system. All of the people that I collaborate with want everyone to succeed whether or not it benefits them directly. For the past year, I have been growing within the company and meeting more and more people. These people owe me nothing, yet have given me everything with their caring and support. I had found a positive purpose and a huge group of people supporting me in my journey. A few of them knew my “Why” for starting to grow a business but many had not heard it. They instead know me as the comic relief and the guy who can come up with motivational quotes and cheer people on.

So what does this have to do with my journey as a widowed person? I realize now, I have a bigger purpose and I can help others. I knew this blog was helping others just as much as it helped me to write my feelings, but I never expected what was to come next from sharing my Why with others on my team.

Someone had posted a question in the oils group about how oils can support our emotions because they wanted to help a widowed friend. I was tagged in it and the gates opened. Now they knew. I began to get comments and messages. People who had recently added me as a friend on Facebook began looking further back than they had before and began commenting on the posts from when Clayton was ill, when Clayton passed, and posts on how I was moving forward. Since FB has an algorithm that puts active posts to the top of people’s pages, my whole journey was replaying for all of my friends. New friends joined old friends to come running to my aid. I felt strange. Do I back off because this is overwhelming? Do I embrace it? Backing down wasn’t going to get me anywhere so I embraced it and began to tell my oily friends about my story and how I had gotten to this point.

Flash forward to this past month and I was being asked for advice on how to help with grieving and how people could help others that were grieving (you know how you all of a sudden become the “widow whisperer”?). My journey was bringing awareness and support for others. Another dear oily widowed friend and I started a Facebook group for those in our oily teams who could understand the widowed journey and come together in support. More people were being helped because we shared.

Flash forward again to this past week and I was asked to go live in a Facebook group of over 4,000 people and tell them my Why. As I told my story the comments and reactions exploded in love, support and relief. That video had touched hundreds of people who felt down and who were struggling for their own reasons. I began to get messages thanking me for sharing, thanking me for being open and thanking me for being inspirational. All I did was share but that is all I had to do to reach others who were feeling down.  It has been 4 days, the video has over 2,000 views and has been shared around social media. Never in my life did I ever think that my story of my deepest loss would have this kind of impact all because I shared.

So what is the moral of this blog? You are who you are because of what you have been through and someone somewhere may need you to share your story of courage so that they can feel the ground under their feet and start taking steps toward their new future. You never know how strong you are until you have to be, until strong is your only choice. There is strength in numbers so share…


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  • GRinNJ Ggnj
    commented 2019-07-01 09:10:44 -0700
    Beautiful. As Kelley Lynn says, Love Grows Love.