Penny Sharman

  • commented on Dear Dead Husband ... 2017-06-02 21:24:47 -0700
    Be still my heart! This post is freaking amazing and I love it. Thank you Kelley.

  • commented on Bringing You Closer 2017-01-28 10:08:14 -0800
    Shortly after my husband died, my oldest grandson asked if me if he could have Grandpa’s winter boots. He was only able to wear them one season and grew out of them and now his younger brother is wearing them. Looks like he will grow out of them soon too but I sure did enjoy seeing the boots on their feet. Gary would have gotten such a kick out of that

  • commented on Live New Today 2017-01-02 08:13:16 -0800
    Sarah, your words “Mostly, this is what I am sad about. He doesn’t get to ring in another year of his own life” struck a chord with me. Like you, my sadness has changed from being sad for me to being sad for my husband and that he wasn’t able to ring in this new year. As the holidays approached this year, I realized my sadness, although present, had changed and I couldn’t put my finger on it. Your words were very timely and I thank you.

  • commented on Not A Merry Month 2016-12-24 13:51:23 -0800
    Dear Kaiti: My heart aches for you. Fresh grief (and yours is so fresh) is so painful and in particular during holidays where it is like an open cut that someone pours alcohol on. Yours and John’s story is such a compelling love story and you’re so young to have experienced such a huge loss which just makes all this just that more tragic. I promise you it will get better. I loved Kelley Lynn’s post from yesterday – it gave me hope. My husband died 2 1/2 years ago and I am now ready to read what she wrote. Last year and most definitely the year before, her words wouldn’t have comforted me. This year they did. So you be as selfish as you need to be to get through this time of the year and don’t let anyone convince you otherwise. It’s called survival. In the meantime, save Kelley Lynn’s post to read in the future when you’re ready to hear there is hope. Sending you hugs.

  • commented on Words in a Book, From the Grave~ 2016-12-21 10:33:45 -0800
    This is a powerful post and it gave me goose bumps. It is not a revelation to me that there is an afterlife. I have always believed and know that there is an afterlife and my husband did too. No, the goose bumps are for the hope and joy Chuck’s words gave you. Right now I can’t think of anyone that deserves that hope than you.

  • commented on Oh, the Shame! On THEM~ 2016-12-15 09:43:20 -0800
    Reading this and the comments below make me realize how lucky I’ve been to have friends and family that have NOT said such tactless and stupid comments to me since my husband died 2 1/2 years ago. Who those people you speak of think they are – how dare they indeed! But I was just talking with a friend yesterday who was recently widowed and she has had more than one friend (and I use that term lightly) say that its time to move on. Alison I love the last sentence – the fact that you say it with respect makes it so much more effective and I confess it made me laugh out loud. And Jane Doy, I love your comment! Oh to be a fly on the wall when you say that.

  • commented on Beautifully Broken 2016-11-05 20:04:51 -0700
    I love this post and it tugged at my heartstrings.

  • commented on What Matters In The End 2016-10-27 06:58:01 -0700
    Stephanie: I can really relate to this post. My husband Gary was diagnosed with terminal cancer and was given 2 months to a year to live. He died one month after his diagnosis as a result of an infection. The infection was caused by the palliative chemo he was receiving. Immediately after his death, I was angry….for him, for me, for his children…because we were cheated out of that extra precious time. In a very short while, I began to realize how lucky we were all were – that my husband did not have to experience a painful lingering death and that we, as his family, did not have to watch this man that we loved with all our hearts go through the ravages that this horrible disease can inflict. His death was very peaceful and he looked just like Gary when he died. He hadn’t started losing weight and experiencing the excruciating pain so many cancer patients go through. I am so blessed that my last memories of him are peaceful. Unlike you, I did have a chance to say good bye and I will be forever grateful for that and like you, I will never stop missing him.

  • commented on Celebrating the Tiny Victories 2016-10-24 09:58:18 -0700
    Sarah, you’ve inspired me! I’m going to start stepping out of my comfort box and doing things on my own. I’ll start off small – eat out by myself….without a book, maybe go to a movie. My ultimate goal is to take a trip by myself. I did go to Camp Widow on my own and that was huge for me and so worth it. So thanks for this.

  • commented on It's Back Again, But You're Not Here .... 2016-10-21 13:07:37 -0700
    Kelley: My heart just breaks for you knowing that you went through this horrible experience. As a person who has experienced anxiety attacks in the past, I know how debilitating and how overwhelmingly frightening they can be. And mine were as a result of just dealing with day to day life as the mom of a very fussy colicky baby. How much more terrifying yours must be. Like you, my husband was there to talk me through them and as you say, love me through my crazy. Anxiety doesn’t seem to be as much of a problem now – my fussy colicky baby has grown into a beautiful woman, I’m older now so maybe more grounded, less hormonal. Whatever the reason, I’ll take the lack of anxiety as long as I can. But the thought of experiencing an attack without him is unimaginable…..but if I should have one, he won’t be there to talk me through it, love me through my crazy. The fact that you are once again plagued by this horrible memory and suffering so much and that Don is no longer there in the middle of the night to hold you makes me so sad. What you have shared takes such courage…..but at such a price! So so unfair. Sending you hugs.

  • commented on We Grew a Family 2016-10-07 16:25:23 -0700
    After going to Camp Widow this past weekend for the first time, I can now understand all those wonderful things you have said and continue to say about Camp Widow. I met some wonderful people there and even though I may not have spent much time with them (after all there are just not that many hours in a weekend) I believe they will be friends for life. As you say, out of our collective losses, we grew a family.

  • commented on All Is Not Lost 2016-10-07 08:21:12 -0700
    Stephanie, I am so sorry you lost your house and I am so in awe of your grace and strength as you face this upheaval. You are such an inspiration to me. Congratulations on your new job – how delightful for the patrons to be greeted by you. And I can’t go without wishing you the best of luck in your new life as a student.

  • commented on Once upon a time.... 2016-09-19 15:50:25 -0700
    Yes, Michelle, keep moving forward – you deserve happiness.

  • commented on Vernacular 2016-09-16 21:59:14 -0700
    Love this post. I can relate on so many levels. Looking so forward to meeting you in Toronto Kelley Lynn…..and you too Sharon Wall :)

  • commented on Sharing Grief 2016-09-02 15:34:19 -0700
    I’m so impressed with how you have discovered your buried strengths and are facing your unknowns – possibly moving to the mainland, possibly having to leave your boyfriend (or at best, a long distance relationship) and going back to school – all the while still living with your grief. And you seem to have done it all with such grace and strength. You are an inspiration.

  • commented on My Davy Jones Moment 2016-09-02 15:26:31 -0700
    Loved this post – did a little fist pump when I got to the end What an amazing day that was after such a tough summer for you.

  • commented on Home Without Him 2016-08-20 08:58:53 -0700
    “Even the thought “he won’t know where to go” has entered my mind.”. I get this Kaiti. The second anniversary of my husband’s death will be on the 23rd and the thought of time slipping by will momentarily panic me because I think the longer the time, the less likely he is to come back. Like you, I’m not crazy and I know reality but these unrealistic thoughts still go through our minds, don’t they.

  • commented on Scheduled Grief 2016-08-16 08:57:59 -0700
    That is absolutely a good thing Mike. This post completely contradicts your previous post about yours and Megan’s anniversary and isn’t that exactly what our widowed lives and the grieving process is like now. You never know from one day to the next. I used to feel guilty when I had a good day, now I take it for what it is – a good day! So this Tuesday, I read your post and said “Me too”, just as I said “Me too” to your previous post.

  • commented on That Other Life 2016-07-30 19:57:14 -0700
    Oh boy Kelley, you need to get out of my head. Your words have just said exactly what I’ve been thinking lately. Gary would just be appalled at Donald Trump’s antics and the people that have allowed him to be a presidential candidate. And I long to be able to watch him watch CNN and watch him shake his head in disbelief and be able to laugh at him while he vents. When Mohamed Ali died, I was so sad that I couldn’t share that sad moment with him. Ali was one of his favourite athletes and it would have been a sad moment of remembrance for him as he reviewed the many Ali fights in his head. It makes me so sad that I can’t share the latest funny thing my grandson said (the kid is hilarious and cracks me up all the time) and in the middle of my belly laugh, I realize that I can’t share this moment with Gary. I was driving home today after my swim, I was feeling great, it was a beautiful day, I had had a good swim and then I saw a car towing a small boat and motor and I started to cry. I will never again watch Gary back his boat and motor into our driveway; I will never again be able to tease him about having to make three tries before he backed in straight. And I long for all these moments…..even in the good times. You’re right – I don’t think it will ever go away and I’m glad for that.

  • commented on Leaving Stuff Behind 2016-07-29 08:20:08 -0700
    Stephanie, I loved this post and I can really relate. I especially loved the line “To look at things around our home that have lost their glow because the person they belonged to is gone.” To me, this really rings true with pictures of my husband. I am always looking at them but they’re so empty – they’re just two dimensional images of my person but the essence of him is missing. On another note, today is your hearing – I’ll be thinking of you and wondering how it goes.