Arlene Marker commented on Appreciating Death 2017-01-12 07:13:38 -0800I strongly agree that everyone should register to be an organ donor. Give the gift of life even if its just for a little while for that person. Help another family to make precious moments with their loved ones.
My husband was an organ donor and when he passed away his eyes were donated and now two people in the world are seeing through his gift to them. It is a beautiful feeling to know that these two people can now see the ones that love them so much and wake to see the sunrise and go to bed at night after seeing the sunset, two of the things my Mike loved to see:)
Arlene Marker commented on Stumbling Greatly 2016-12-19 12:52:42 -0800Oh my gosh thank you so much for these words, “stumbling greatly”. That is so how I feel everyday. It’s so hard to explain to oneself sometimes let alone to others about the way you feel……it is such a tough journey and I am only 8 months into mine.
Arlene Marker commented on Death and Friendships (not) 2016-08-17 12:56:17 -0700I so understand letting go of someone who brings you down and is truly not there for you as a friend. I had to do that too. Only it was 3 months after my husband died (Mar 2016). She wasn’t ever truly there for me at all…..it was all about her and the way she thought I should be handling my feelings.
This is just one of the many examples of the things she would say to me.
“I am still mourning the loss of old Arlene. She was bright, carefree and happy. Now you just don’t sound that way anymore!!! Know what I mean?”
I don’t have to explain, that I had no idea what emotion I would be feeling from minute to minute let alone feeling happy to make her feel better. I couldn’t even fake smile!!! I just lost my husband of 38 years…..I was devastated and still am!
Like you Alison, all I need are hugs and love from others and to be eventually able to give it back. I don’t need my feelings to be judged. I gave her the benefit of the doubt and tried a little more to keep the friendship, until I realized that she wasn’t going to change. She was trying to control me and my emotions. I have since blocked her from my life. I know it sounds harsh but she was toxic to me and my trying to recover. I don’t miss her at all. I actually haven’t even thought of her until I read your story.
You definitely did make the right decision for you!!! Your love story is yours and no one can ever take that away from you or even try to change one beautiful memory you have locked away.
Thank you for writing and sharing your story. It really helped me to know I did the right thing too!!!
Arlene Marker commented on It Could be Worse 2016-07-26 12:56:39 -0700Even though my year of dealing with breast cancer, chemo and radiation, a couple of years ago, as tough as it was…..was no comparison to losing my Mike and the everyday heartbreak that I feel. We do some how move on even when we don’t want to……it sure is not easy!
Arlene Marker commented on The Tsunami of July 2016-07-01 10:38:36 -0700Very powerful Kelley. Thank you for sharing your story…..the one you never wanted to write. My world changed forever on March 8, 2016. I will never get over it…but I will like you keep trying to pick up the pieces….it may take forever!
Arlene Marker commented on As Life Continues~ 2016-06-30 11:23:17 -0700Your words are precisely the way I feel! Thank you for expressing them so beautifully!!
I wish I didn’t know what I know!!! It hurts too much!!!
Arlene Marker commented on Pre-planning your Emotional Response to Death...Ain't it Precious? 2016-05-26 10:31:29 -0700Thank you for the hugs!