Stephanie Vendrell

The Sky is Falling

In true Chicken Little fashion, this week in Hawaii, where I live, there was a scary but supposedly false ballistic missile threat that woke people up or terrified them at the store and farmer’s markets. It has since made international news, to great disgrace to whoever was responsible.

 

Around 8 AM, after having worked the night before and exhausted, my phone on silent, a very annoying and scary emergency buzzing sound erupted from my phone next to my bed. I slowly rolled over, pulled on my glasses and checked the message. Ballistic missile incoming to Hawaii. Take shelter. This is not a test.

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  • commented on Straddling Two Worlds 2015-09-10 14:47:02 -0700
    Hi Lisa, you’re right; there is just no escaping. Maybe when we can get to a point of, like you said, cherish and not as much pain, it might get easier…but as well, it is perhaps as it should be. Thank you so much for sharing.

  • commented on Wrong Colours, Wrong Seasons 2015-09-07 17:10:33 -0700
    That feeling of wrong-ness of Mike not being in my world will always haunt me too. He is ever and forever in my mind and heart as I move through these strange new days without him. He too so loved the beauty of this world, and I often wonder if he can see it from wherever he is…though, I am grateful that I had him in my world at all, for I appreciate it all so much more that he was, and had the chance to learn to view it through his eyes. I wish you peace, Tricia.

  • commented on Parallels & Pushing On 2015-09-07 17:05:30 -0700
    I feel happy that you found beautiful people to share life with again. I find the memories of the past life will always be there, but I can’t ignore the future pulling me forward. Hugs.

  • commented on The Tangible Taste of Missing Him 2015-09-05 17:22:35 -0700
    You really encapsulating a lot of what I’d been feeling too. The sharpness, some moments, but also the rounded edges of life without him now. Thank you Rebecca.

  • commented on Coming Home 2015-09-04 14:18:59 -0700
    Thank you for sharing that, Lisa. I’m glad I’m not alone in these feelings, they are all so confusing. And the “sometimes doing nothing” is good advice…I guess sometimes limbo land is really a place we need to be for awhile. I’m so sorry for your loss.

  • commented on Embracing the Silence 2015-08-31 21:07:19 -0700
    I liked Debra’s comment that the experience may bring a fresh way of being with the books and pens. But I cannot imagine it myself!! I too would be hard pressed to put it all way for that length of time. I look forward to hearing how it goes very much, and sending you well wishes and support as best I can from the other side of the globe.

  • commented on What A Ride 2015-08-30 15:30:42 -0700
    I am so happy for you, Sarah. In a way, a little jealous too…to be excited about the next step, even as we will always be missing them, sounds wonderful. Yes, grab your joy.

  • commented on Ian's Birthday Gift 2015-08-28 09:10:57 -0700
    Congratulations Kerryl. Yours is truly one of the most beautiful stories of this terrible club…I am joyous for you, and for Ian, and send blessings to Patrick and your family. All the best of everything to you all.

  • commented on Back When My Heart Was Pure 2015-08-28 09:02:46 -0700
    I find death has not only changed me, it is continuously changing me. It’s kind of like a loss of innocence, maybe. I am glad you traveled to see your friend and enjoy the beauties of the area you live. Friendships – the good ones – seem to take on new meaning in this after-life. Blessings to you Tricia.

  • commented on The Flowery Pit 2015-08-31 21:02:27 -0700
    Hi Morgan…thank you for commenting. It’s a very difficult road to trod for sure. I’m glad you are coming to Widow’s Voice. It’s a great community to share and support and know none of us is alone, though it often feels that way. I’m so deeply sorry for your loss.

  • commented on The Interview 2015-08-27 22:37:51 -0700
    Thank you Rebecca. Yes I still need to listen to it all, it is indeed a treasure. I wish I’d recorded more while he was still here, but who was to know. I am home but jet lagged for a few days I’m sure!

  • commented on Across the Pond 2015-08-13 23:46:08 -0700
    Lisa, thank you so much, I will…cheers!

  • commented on Widows Walk 2015-08-07 17:48:15 -0700
    You nailed it Lisa: eventually half of them will. Something to think about. I am glad for everyone here too, and thank you for commenting. Blessings to you.

  • commented on Happy for You, In Pain for Me 2015-08-07 17:47:14 -0700
    Pain and joy in the same breath: yes. Thank you for sharing…have yet to attend a wedding since Mike died. Can only imagine the triggers…

  • commented on Rootless 2015-08-03 20:21:58 -0700
    Yes – yet again we mirror each other. I have been working on such similar thoughts this week, Tricia. But I agree – we cannot outrun our losses. That is an important point. Thank you.

  • commented on Widow Bingo 2015-08-01 16:24:16 -0700
    Probably many of us have learned the hard way that people who have not experienced this type of loss just have no idea what they are talking about. I get the “well you know he’s still with you” all the time and I want to wring their necks. I hope as you said that this day will have some new and lovely memories now – but I also know the hard ones will probably always be there too, as they are for us all. Hugs.

  • commented on Maybe 2015-07-31 17:35:44 -0700
    Wow. What an awesome moment, Kelley. Yes we should all be dreaming big. Not always easy…but SO important. Another hug from me to you. :)

  • commented on Triggered 2015-07-30 22:26:22 -0700
    Hi Jane – thanks for writing. I am so sorry for your loss. It is so hard to abide the reality without them, but I’m glad you went to Camp Widow. It’s a wonderful organization. Blessings to you.

  • commented on Stripped 2015-07-28 17:29:21 -0700
    Beautifully written Tricia…and sad, and so relatable. Our daily routines have changed, as they must, without our partners…and the reminders of the empty space beside us is so painful. Thank you for this.

  • commented on An Unexpected Reason to Smile 2015-07-25 16:41:54 -0700
    I am glad you have such a lovely support network of people who also loved and remembered him. No, no one was as impacted as you by his death, but it is so meaningful to know he is not forgotten by others as well. Those anniversaries are so hard…I found myself sighing a strange sort of relief when that marker passed.

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