Ron Marro

  • commented on Shattered Hearts Still Beat 2019-11-08 08:27:05 -0800
    Sue. No worries. My widow brain comes and goes all the time.
    Especially this time of year. This is technically the third holiday season without Sandi but the first year I have very little memory of. She died Dec 16th and we had funeral services on the 27th and Jan 6th. Here in Florida and then in her hometown in western NY.

  • commented on Conversations with the Widowed 2019-10-29 12:03:44 -0700
    Valeria. Beautiful essay on the life we now have to face every day. To her last day I told Sandi, you are the cutest thing ever… then her smile would take over the room. Miss that so.

  • commented on Diagnoses Date 2019-10-07 13:07:28 -0700
    June 9, 2015

  • commented on Your Touch 2019-09-17 07:12:40 -0700
    I’ve been struggling with this for months now trying remember all the little physical and emotional touches Sandi and I had. Stated so perfectly. Thank you 🙏

  • commented on What Was. What Is~ 2019-08-02 12:36:09 -0700
    Agreed… weirdly OK

  • commented on Bedsheets, Duct Tape and Hockey Sticks 2019-06-17 15:34:10 -0700
    I love the way you write and put into words the thoughts and feelings I just can’t get out. ♥️

  • commented on Strongish at Best 2019-05-28 13:32:00 -0700
    Staci this is so on the mark. No one really sees what’s going on inside and if I am honest when someone ask how are you I say, sad and lonely and broken-hearted. That pretty much ends the conversation. 15 months and I know it will never change and I just cry.

  • commented on Celebrations Realization~ 2019-05-17 06:57:13 -0700
    Hell yes, 15 months out and I can’t imagine any of this changing. I walk through the day in a daze. This second year brings more and more reality to the fact that Sandi is gone for ever and that’s it. Avoidance and sleep are my only solutions. Sucks.

  • commented on Where Are You Mike? 2019-05-13 10:28:29 -0700
    Staci you said it well. I want more too. I watch for the signs as well, the cardinals and songs and such. And then realize I’m all alone with those memories. Beautiful as the memories are, they will never be enough to replace my girl Sandi. I want her back and I know I can’t.

  • commented on 6 Years of Tired~ 2019-05-08 15:01:32 -0700
    Thank you for the reality check. There is no way of getting back what we are now without. I am only 15 months out and getting out of bed is sometimes the only thing I can handle.

  • commented on Everything but the Kitchen Sink 2019-04-01 08:05:04 -0700
    Thank you. For a year and a half I’ve been feeling this and nobody speaks of the intimacy that is lost when the love of your life dies. Thank you 🙏

  • commented on Holding Pattern 2019-03-19 10:04:54 -0700
    Staci, you speak the words I do not have. I found myself in the first year stuffing down my emotions and grief. Then found myself connected with another person not realizing I was just trying to avoid the inevitable. I spent months denying the grief I was feeling over losing my Sandi. I finally just faced the fact that, as you say, there is no getting around this. The tears and depression just overtook me for months. 15 months out now I am at least realistic about the fact that Sandi is gone, for good, and that sucks. We were so very close emotionally, physically and almost never spent more than a day apart in 24 years. I miss her so much. I am trying to figure out what activity getting back into life will be for me. But for now I try to connect with family and volunteer to keep from crawling back into bed everyday. I too have continued our happy hour tradition of a martini (or two…) to help the day seem normal. Just not the same without my girl sitting beside me.

    Thank you for your thoughts.

  • commented on Wanderlust 2 2019-03-05 12:44:41 -0800
    Staci I wish you the best of luck on your adventure. I am 14 months out from losing Sandi and I am completely stuck. Your words hit home and I wish I knew how to move on. I can not make a decision or move or think about what the future will bring. I have lost my everything and can’t see my way forward. I just go through the motions of the day just missing her hoping I can get up the next day. I am exhausted and sleep most of the day away. Thank you for sharing your plans. Wishing you the best.

  • commented on Finding A Balance ...... 2019-02-21 18:40:32 -0800
    14 months out and I feel like the cane is closing in on me. You and the other writers keep it from completely shutting down. I believe there’s hope… just don’t know where it is.

  • commented on Dance Class 2019-02-14 17:17:21 -0800
    This is so true. Sandi never wanted valentines to be a special day because she felt, as I do , that we had such great love every day. A card that I read every day ( that is an anniversary card but works any day ) states… once upon a time I made a wish and we came true.
    I wish I could bring her back, but o can’t, so I have to do the dance.
    Thank you 😢

  • commented on Joy Isn't Found in Tap Water 2019-01-29 14:39:41 -0800
    Staci. I am sitting here in the living room on cold afternoon wishing I wasn’t at the beginning of my second year without Sandi. Your words ring so true. “In My Life “ by the Beatles plays on the stereo and I just wonder what now. You are right we just have to deal with this widow thing as it comes. I haven’t been out today and it is one of those days that I don’t really want to talk to anyone. I’ve let two call go to voice mail. I’ll deal with them tomorrow after I splash some cold water on my face and see what the day brings.
    Thank you 🙏

  • commented on Don't Die 2019-01-15 08:30:21 -0800
    I couldn’t tell Sandi don’t die. She was in the last battle of an 18 year war with breast cancer. It had finally metastasized to her brain and the last three years were very hard. It was a long good bye, saying I love you as often as possible knowing soon it would be the last time we had a chance to tell each other that comes to mind. It was different than the I love yous that came before this last battle. It was beautiful but with the sense that the end was near. It made us both cry with a mix of saddness and joy for 24 years we had together and the loss that was coming.

  • commented on Stay the Course 2019-01-08 19:34:40 -0800
    I hope to get there. 13 months and it’s still not real. I know Sandi wants me to be ok and move on… don’t k ow how.

  • commented on Where Are You? 2018-12-18 09:40:58 -0800
    One year and two days out and it’s still not real.

  • commented on I am Different than Who you Loved 2018-12-17 16:34:25 -0800
    I am now 1 year and 1 day from Sandi’s death. Your descriptions ring so true to me. I wait so anxiously to be held again by her. The sadness and loneliness passes so slowly. How long do we have to wait to be whole again. Thank you.

Teacher and HS principal for 35 years. Originally from Mass, then 35 years in Western NY. With Sandi 24 years, married 20. Four children between us, 2 girls, 2 boys.
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