Thanksgiving can be tough if you are living with the death of someone you love. One thing I have learned during this 8-year long (so far) grief tsunami, is that talking about the person I love who died and sharing stories about them helps greatly. Remembering them with love , acknowledging that they lived and they matter, is not only important, but healthy. If you can find ways to include those you have lost to death into your current holiday plans, it really does make them seem less far away and less unreachable.
Please use this space in my blog comments to share something you will/did miss on Thanksgiving about the person you lost to death, and also something you are excited about this year, or one way you have chosen to remember your person this holiday. If you're not in a place emotionally where you are excited about the holidays, than that's okay too. In that case, just tell us a little bit about the person you are missing on Thanksgiving.
I'll start. Christmas is my favorite holiday, but Thanksgiving was Don's favorite holiday. He loved it because there are no gifts, no pressure to shop or buy things - just family, yummy food, and football. He loved my mom's apple pie, and he loved relaxing with my family, tossing a baseball with my brother in the yard, and just being together. Some years we would drive to mom and dad's in Massachusetts from New Jersey and spend the weekend. Other years, he had to work on Thanksgiving Day, being in EMS, and those years I would make us dinner or we would go out, and then we would put up and decorate our Christmas tree on Thanksgiving night. Mostly, I will just miss how happy he was each year on this day. He really loved the simple things in life. I also really miss my Nana each year during the holidays. Its just not the same without her energy, food, and humor.
This year, I looked very much forward to spending the holiday with my parents, my brother, the kids ( my niece and nephew,) my boyfriend of just over 2 years now, and some good friends of our family. Looking forward to being my boyfriends assistant as we pay homage to his late mother Joyce, and do our best to recreate her famous turkey dressing recipe, which is delicious. Looking forward to having some down time, because life has been chaotic and crazy busy lately, and time to relax with those I love is precious and rare. (we did this all yesterday, and it was lovely. A nice, peaceful, emotional at times, wonderful holiday.)
Your turn. What did you miss, what are you excited for (if anything)this weekend, and what ways have you found to remember those you have lost to death on this holiday? sharing these things helps to keep them alive and relevant, and also helps us to ensure they are never ever forgotten. Happy Thanksgiving.