PROOF

Is Don proud of me?
People always tell me that Don would be proud of me.
Its a nice thought.
I hope its true. 
I really, truly hope that its true. 
But how can I know?
I want proof. 
I want evidence
that he is proud. 
Concrete evidence. 
Or when I say,
That I wish he knew about such and such,
that just happened in my life,
and someone always responds with:
"He does know. He knows." 
Well how the hell do you know
that he knows?
You dont know. 
Again, its a lovely thought,
and I hope its true,
but ....
Proof. 
Show me the proof. 
So much has happened this month. 
Many many good things. 
Things that move me forward in my career goals.
In helping others. 
My TEDx talk now has almost 400,000 views.
My goal is one million. 
Im now confident that can happen. 
A short piece I wrote and submitted,
was chosen for a "Chicken Soup for the Soul" book. 
This makes me happy. 
An independant film I acted in was chosen for the L.A. Film Festival,
and appeared on the cover of the LA Times. 
A musician in Armenia named Mikayal Abazyan recorded a beautifully haunting song
called "One More" about losing people we love to death, and we collaborated across the internet so that he could use a piece from my TED talk, my voice, in the middle of the song, as part of the recording. The song was released this week, and its stunning. And my voice is on it. And Im so proud of this. 
A good widow friend of mine, Vivienne Rodriguez, started a magazine for widowed people, that you can download online each month. She chose me and my story for the feture interview and the cover of the premiere magazine, which was the September issue. 
All these cool things happening in my life, and I just want him to be proud. 
Yes, I know he WOULD be and his spirit is and his soul is and all that malarkey, 
but I still want evidence. 
I want him to tell me. 
I want proof. 
Death is a nuisance, 
and I miss Don being proud of me.

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  • Debbie Hinderhofer
    commented 2018-09-17 17:14:29 -0700
    I know what you mean. I just wish so much that I could hear my Don say he knows how hard I am trying to move forward and how very much I miss him and how very hard each and every day is without him. I feel him near sometimes but I just so want to physically see him and hold him and tell him he much I truly love him.
  • Don Yacona
    commented 2018-09-17 12:03:18 -0700
    I truly believe he would be.
  • Linda Tevebaugh Keeling
    commented 2018-09-14 20:12:36 -0700
    Wow!!! Everything sounds so exciting… Yet being able to tell Don would make it more exciting!
    All these things I’d love to know more about!!!