Grief. Love. Magic. A new road. A new life~

This One isn't for You, if You're Offended by the F Word~

Fucking widowhood
Fucking life without him
Fucking heaviness
Fucking memories of you dying
Fucking bed sores
Fucking hole in the base of your spine where the tumor ate through your body
Fucking having to live without you every damn day

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Time Unmeasureable~

My dearest, my most beloved husband,


Chuck. Sarge. D. My heart, my heartbeat, the oxygen in my blood, my very breath…


You were many names to me over the years. You were many things to me, as I was to you. You were everything to me, as I was to you.


Life was daily living for us both, of course. We had our jobs, our individual friends and interests, and we had our friends in common and interests in common.
But beyond and above and alongside of, and with, we had each other.
You were my life.


What now is my life without you? Without my breath? Without my heartbeat?


That madness of the souls that is Love. That Love we shared that was a single soul inhabiting two bodies…
What to do with all of that now that you’re dead and we are forever separated?

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Just me, trying to figure this shit out, after the firestorm of my beloved husband's death~
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