Life was the calm and she the storm.
Her favorite season. Her favorite holiday.
Thanksgiving was her New Year. Thanksgiving was the day she reflected on the last year and told everyone how thankful she was to have made it to see another one.
She was thankful she could experience it.
She was thankful she survived it.
She was thankful.
...I'm just thankful I got to spend a few of them with her.
This Thanksgiving was a New Year of sorts for me. I haven’t been this productive since she passed away. I can’t remember the last time I put time, energy, effort, and passion into something of my own creation since before things started going downhill.
I sat up that morning in the loft above my parents’ garage. I let tears flow for a few minutes in reflection and then returned to hiding beneath that impervious shell that made me appear so stronger and holding everything together.
New things can be fun and filled with awe and wonder and excitement. They can also be scary...and overwhelming...and stressful.
I’m testing waters I’ve never thought to swim in. Being brave doesn’t mean you don’t have fears or worry. Being brave is admitting that you have fears and worries and still walk forward with your decision. So whether it’s a new relationship, a new business venture, or whatever the new “thing” may be that has come into your life...it’s okay to fear and worry and be nervous and overwhelmed.
So here I go. I’m not sure what will happen, but here I go.
New things do not signify the end of things or people past. One way or another...we carry our past with us. Always.
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