This week. I feel like this week is still so raw I'm not sure I can gather my thoughts. But I will try.
Tuesday was my 8 year wedding anniversary. I took the kids to dinner and we had ice cream after. Sometimes I can still feel exactly where I would be if Joey was here. That night was like that for me. I was never super sad. I just sat back and remembered. I watched my wedding video and to hear his voice was heavenly. Its almost unreal when I look back on it and think where life is now. Its like you cant figure out how you got to this place. How is this real? I have celebrate two wedding anniversaries without him.
Today thought, today is different. Today would have been Joey's 38th birthday. It just makes me sad. How can a person not get to enjoy such a small number? Why do my kids have to endure this? Why do my mother in law and I have to sit and stare of into nothing to wish our love a happy birthday?
I get really mad when I think about it. But I know I must celebrate for the kids. So we got a bunch of balloons and the kids wrote notes on them and we sent them to heaven. The kids loved it. We just sat there and watched them fly away to nothing. But while I was watching all I could think was how far away you are? How long until I get to see you again? How many birthdays will we celebrate?
This week. I know there will be another week, God willing. But this one might be the hardest.
Happy birthday Joey. I miss you every day.