I struggle to sleep at night.
I have flashbacks of the horrific images of how my husband’s body was left.
I miss the love of my life every day.
It’s hard for me to trust.
It’s painful to see his things all over the house, but I cannot bear to take them down.
I miss feeling loved, protected and cared for.
I miss feeling like I was someone’s everything.
I miss laughing so hard because he was the only one that brought constant intense humor into my life.
I am tired every single day.
It saddens me not to hear his voice, feel his touch, or see his kindness.
I hate not having my husband here to get his opinion on things, especially on hard decisions or when I am scared.
I miss feeling whole and happy.
I miss holding his hand.
It pains me to see my daughter play and talk to his picture instead of having him.
I hurt every day and that will never go away.
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I had a beautiful marriage and a gifted life. In other words my husband was so good to me.
I can not say much more because I sob. My children also were are the best. I lived a pretty beautiful life.
My kids find fault with me now at every opportunity that they can find. We have completely lost what was once.
My husband passed 6/27/2019. He was ill for three years. We had 49 years together so I should not complain. So many have far less than me and so much tragedy I am thankful and will remember people in pain
Kayla- I am so sorry that your 14 year old son had to see that. I know it feels incredibly raw at 11 weeks, but crying does help to release those emotions. You are not alone in this. I am sending you lots of hugs!
Julie- I am glad that work can be a healthy distraction for you. Nights are normally pretty hard for me still. In all honesty, I didn’t sleep well for months. But it does get tolerable. Even though it may not seem like it now. Sending you love!
Mary- Thank you for sharing. Yes, we are part of a sisterhood that we didn’t want to be part of, but beautiful and inspiring to know we can survive this and we are not alone. Send you much love!
thank you for putting into words and for making me feel that what i am feeling is ‘normal’
this is a journey i do not want to be on.
take care and sending love
julie
Just wanted to let you know you’re not alone.