Mother's Day

flower22.jpgHappy Mother's Day to all the amazing moms out there. Especially the ones who are doing it solo. It's the hardest thing I have ever done. Being a mom is something I always wanted and I love my children. I love having a big family. But it's definitely not something I wanted to do alone. Now I'm mom and dad. I'm working two jobs and going back to school. While raising four kids. And I am blessed to have them. But when you do it alone it becomes way more stressful than you ever thought possible. I look up to you all who have been doing it longer than I have and give me the courage to know it's possible to make it. It's possible to still give your children a wonderful life. 
I choose to not celebrate Mother's Day. I should probably embrace it and be grateful for all the loving words and small gifts but two years ago on Mother's Day I had to sit my children down and tell them their daddy was dead. It's a day I will never forget. My youngest boys didn't understand, my oldest understood all to well. And my daughter I will never forget that pain that in a second of being told her daddy was gone, arose on her beautiful face. She cried and told me that when he left Saturday night he told her he was never coming back. She cried and said please daddy come home, he laughed and said calm down I'll send you presents. And she looked at him and said no all I want is you. 

She immediately remembered this conversation when I told her the news. Four years old and such an old soul. No child should experience that kind of pain. Children believe we live forever and they deserve that kind of innocence. But sometimes we don't get what we deserve in this life. 
I hope one day I will stop being stubborn and enjoy this holiday again but for now I'm good ignoring it. 

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  • commented 2017-05-15 18:38:45 -0700
    Hi Michelle,
    Happy Belated Mothers Day! I’m so sorry for your loss. Nothing is worse than losing a loved one, especially the one who you were supposed to live the rest of your life with. Please know that you are not alone in this. I have lost a tremendous amount of people in my life. All of whom I was close to. Grandparents my mom, my sister.
    Anyway, I can understand why you want to ignore Mother’s Day but please know that your husband would want you to celebrate it. Our loved ones that leave us want us to continue living our lives to the fullest. We have no other choice not to. Hang in there Michelle, life goes and the memories that you have of him will help you get through this. I have a blog that I recently started. If your interested, feel free to read along.