Me and the Universe~

I met Christina Rasmussen, from Second Firsts, early in my widowhood, on her first book tour.

She was in Boston and I was in NH, so I drove to the book store holding the event, and heard her speak for the first time.

It didn't change the emotions of my widowhood, but her words, her philosophy about life after loss touched me deeply. 

It was my first true indication that I wasn't alone on this road.

So, when Christina came to Phoenix a few nights ago, on tour for her second book Where Did You Go?...I went.

She speaks so knowingly about theories of the Universe. Parallel Universes. Multiverses. Energy, and how it doesn't die.

How Love lives on. How relationships with our loved ones continue, on different planes.

I'm a pragmatist and I've always wondered, since Chuck died, this exact thing....where did he go?

Is he anywhere? Will I see him again? Or did we have our 24 years and that was it. Done. Finito.

I absolutely 100% used to, well, know, that there is something beyond this world, because of what I experienced with my brother, Kysa, in his final hours on this earth, in 1996.

I experienced things with him, as he lay dying. Emotions, perceptions, sensory overload. And what I knew to be truth.

I walked with my brother to the edge, opened the curtain for him between this world and the next, and then stepped back to let him go alone. Because this was his experience, not mine.

It was a near death experience, but not mine.

That made no sense to me and I could never define it beyond that.

But I knew. I was given a glimpse, through my brother.

And then Chuck died and everything I believed in, disappeared out of my heart.

Chuck's without him...was, and is, too traumatic for me. All belief suspended.

In my head, I 100% believe that what Christina writes is true.

Energy doesn't die. Love lives on. Parallel Universes do exist. Multiple Universes exist.

I just can't get my heart there.

Which is why I so appreciated that Christina spent some time speaking with me.

She's followed the story of my Odyssey of Love. 

She gets me. She knows who I am.

On a side note, it continually stupefies me that she, or anyone, follows along with my Odyssey of Love.

I'm just an ordinary schlub, doing what I can to get through this life without Chuck. In pink, so it does stand out, of course. But, just me, doing what I can.


A few points stood out from our conversation:

That Chuck and I had that rare Love story, one so powerful, with a bond so close, that we could very well have had a relationship through the decades.

That it isn't only a matter of Chuck connecting with me; it's also me meeting him where he is, now.

And that, for me, it's more a matter of learning to live a parallel life with him, here, rather than letting go of him (which I'll never do, ever).

I've always known that this is what I need/want to do, but have only recently begun to own my right to do so, ignoring those who tell me you need to let go. You need to open your heart. Yadda, yadda, yadda...

What I need to do is exactly what I'm doing. Now I just have the exact right words to name it.

From the moment she began speaking, I felt chills running through me.

Everything that Christina said made so much sense to me, and Chuck, I think, would agree with her.

Science was his passion. He believed in other Universes, so it makes sense to me that I need to study this more thoroughly, following what Christina calls the Temple Journey, and maybe I can meet him there. It's worth a try, right?

Meet him where he is.

My entire Odyssey of Love is about possibilities and opening up.

This is just one more step~







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  • Kelley Lynn
    commented 2019-03-14 19:19:06 -0700
    I love this. Christina is amazing. I met her long ago also, and we have become friends. She is wonderful and very generous and big hearted. I have her new book and its been hard for me to read. I dont know why. I think Im scared to “go there” for some reason, but I have always beleived everything she speaks of. Energy. Love never dies. We are connected forever. All of it. My grief counelor took me through a period during our sessions a couple years ago, where she had me “shift” my relationship with Don from one of husband wife, to one of “forever connected , a beautiful bond, he is your spirit guide.” IT was soooo hard for me, to no longer “feel” married to him , but once I did it, I actualyl felt closer to him than ever before. I cant explain it, but ever since then, I feel him near me ALL THE TIME. Its not nearly as great as having him here on earth with me, but its nine million steps above feeling like he is nowhere, or somewhere where I cant feel him. I feel him right now. He is a part of everything. In some ways, our relationship feels even more profound than ever. I think you will feel that with your Chuck. I really do. I hope this helps.