Marilyn Peterlin commented on Killer Lonliness 2017-06-01 14:22:52 -0700Yes Stephanie, loneliness is a killer. I just read an article about addiction yesterday. I have personally struggled with addiction for many years. The day my beloved died, it shocked me into quitting everything. Cold turkey. Recently I relapsed, but I believe its time has come to an end, because it just made me feel so much worse, not better.
The author of this article said that the driving force behind addiction is loneliness, isolation, and psychological pain. More so than the urge to feel euphoria and numbness, even. Not surprising, however, the hopeful part is finding connections and sharing with others can make all the difference.
Thank you for another excellent post that always resonates with me, and I am sure many others.
Marilyn Peterlin commented on Echoes in my Heart 2017-05-22 06:14:27 -0700Anonymous: I rented Collateral Beauty thanks to your comment. How very right you are. So like grief. Not surprisingly, the movie was rated super low by Rotten Tomatoes. Just more proof of how our society doesn’t get grief, right? Too uncomfortable to deal with. Time-Life-Death.
Marilyn Peterlin commented on Smiling Through the Tears 2017-05-19 00:56:39 -0700Stephanie you are so right on. How natural it is to give in to the grief when we had such a close, easy, intimate partnership that just dissolved one day. I try like hell to look at my amazing life history and I truly am grateful for living etc. BUT….well, we all know so well that faking it till you make it just feels so wrong and most days I feel like a very good actress at work, with people. Then I come home to my house which used to be our house. I love it and I AM grateful, but. But.
Marilyn Peterlin commented on A Choiceless Event 2017-01-06 04:50:15 -0800Stephanie, your words resonate with me. I am into my third year without my Tim and, like your Mike, he lived every experience to the hilt. He had Type 1 Diabetes since 17. We met when he was 47, so the disease had already been doing its damage for a long time. But he NEVER complained. He couldn’t do the wilderness trips I wanted to share with him. But he did what he could to make every day count. He taught me so much about appreciating the small things in life, because they really are the big things. I try to embrace life with all the gusto I can, because he can’t. That spark is forever extinguished that he embodied- but dammit, I am still here and I intend to live well for the both of us. My eyes are his eyes now. Thanks for your writing, you always inspire me to keep moving forward.
Marilyn Peterlin commented on Just Do Something 2016-04-28 06:45:09 -0700Wow Mike, you really hit home with this one. I am a nurse who lost my beloved finance about 1 1/2 years ago suddenly in his sleep. I too felt it was a real wake-up call for me to get my shit together and in many ways I have , and am doing so still. But like you said so eloquently, in the middle of the night I am crying to myself, What the hell are you doing ?? I love the outdoors as you do, but when I come home from work as a geriatric caregiver, I have to take care of 4 cats who are my family now, and do all the chores myself. Yes I totally relate to the crashing in front of the couch routine.
Thank you for your honesty and courage in sharing your truth, which resonates with so many of us. I know you will be a success in your outdoors guide which by the way I would love to be a client. I live in Ohio also. Nothing heals like Mother Nature.
Marilyn Peterlin commented on Thanksgiving Blues 2015-11-27 05:31:05 -0800Kelly, I had the EXACT same experience yesterday. I lost my beloved on November 5th of last year. Thanksgiving was OUR day we shared together, just the two of us. We cooked our favorite special dishes, drank beers, and watched "Dumb and Dumber " laughing our asses off.
My first thanksgiving, last year, without him I was still in a state of shock. But this year, I, like you, had a joyous day with my family. Then, this morning, the tears would not stop.
Happy memories. Sad lonely missing him so much now.
Because we have loved so hard and passionately then, the price we pay now is deep and profound sorrow.
Thanks for your honesty. I feel somehow less alone reading the posts and responses.
“If I never loved I never would have cried.”
Marilyn Peterlin commented on Thanksgiving Through the Widowed Years 2015-11-17 10:08:05 -0800This was the most personally meaningful essay I have read on this wonderful site.
My husband has been gone just over a year. Thanksgiving was the only holiday we celebrated together. We rarely went to any other gatherings . We just wanted to be alone together, to be grateful in and for each other.
After I read your post, Michele, something shifted in me. And this morning I had the first dream in many lonely months of my husband. I was overwhelmed with joy at seeing him again, but then I woke up. What helped me through the sadness of leaving him behind in the dream world were your words: “I can see that he has been beside me all the time, but I was in too much pain to see him there.”
I want to thank you for your beautiful gift of writing, and for sharing this gift with us fellow widows-widowers-warriors-wanderers.
Marilyn Peterlin commented on Carrying the Sadness Forward 2015-10-31 14:55:27 -0700I can really relate to your post, Rebecca. I am going to Hawaii in December for my nephew’s wedding. The only way I can afford it is because my darling fiancé died on November 5th of last year and left me insurance money. Ironically, he was the one who always wanted to go on a tropical vacation, not me. I liked the rugged wilderness trips, which he could not do because of having diabetes and he didn’t want to risk being in the middle of nowhere when his sugar got out of whack.
Needless to say, I would give up every vacation for the rest of my life if I could have my beloved back. But he will be overjoyed that I am going for the both of us. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.