Marybeth Hotaling

  • commented on Stay the Course 2018-12-10 19:55:00 -0800
    So Beautifully put, that they are still not done loving us and inspiring us to live our best lives, even when we do so without them. I so identify with this but you put it into words so well.

  • commented on Truth in a Weedwacker 2018-05-31 20:26:46 -0700
    I want and need to use the weedwhacker so I don’t have to rely on others. You have inspired me to learn how to start it so I can finally do it myself. I’m tired of waiting until someone is around to do it for me. I got this. Thanks

  • commented on Mike's Birthday 2018-04-05 08:20:26 -0700
    I celebrated my husband’s 60th birthday almost 5 months after he died. I could not let that occasion pass without acknowledging it. I’ve not repeated the celebration but I do take off work on his birthday and spend time with family. It’s never an easy day. Celebrate Mikes birthday however you decide. If you want to have a big party, go right ahead. Down the road you may observe it differently. It will be a wonderful time to celebrate him with people who love and I’m sure miss him.

  • commented on Vacation Reflection 2018-03-24 04:10:54 -0700
    So glad you enjoyed yourself. I’ve spent several vacations on Barbados with my late husband and friends and it was always magical. Our last vacation together was on a cruise as well. I too find that crying releases the emotion and it’s better to let it be expressed which allows you to move on. Beautiful picture of you both. Good friends are key to getting through this. I find looking forward to my next vacation helps get me through the difficult times and allows me to have something to look forward to. Keep planning those trips.

  • commented on Vacation 2018-03-08 20:12:17 -0800
    I’m going on an amazing trip to Italy next month. I love to travel and have continued to do so since losing my husband almost 2 1/2 years ago. I am leaving on what would have been our 32nd wedding anniversary. I know there will be tears, I almost always am emotional flying without him BUT I push ahead and have not regretted any of my trips. Allow the tears and moments of missing him and being part of a couple BUT enjoy what you can of this life we still have to live.

  • commented on Aloha and Mahalo 2018-02-03 06:31:05 -0800
    Stephanie: I’ve found your writing to be so inspiring. No matter what you’ve been facing your voice has been one of resilience and positivity. I’m sure those qualities will keep you moving as you live your life. Your husband sounds like an amazing guy who loved you very much. Wishing all the best for you. Marybeth

  • commented on Owning up to What’s True. No Excuses. 2017-02-08 09:54:29 -0800
    So glad that you can put into words what I feel in my heart. I really do wish the entire world could know and understand so we would not feel as lonely.

  • commented on Christmas Is Christmas Again 2016-12-23 16:20:39 -0800
    Kelley; I’m so glad to hear that you can enjoy Christmas again as you once did. At 14 months out I’m trying to ignore Christmas. I’ve loved it all my life and now I can’t face it. I will try for the sake of my children and granddaughter who was born on my husband’s first anniversary this year. You have given me hope that one day I too can again enjoy Christmas as I have in the past, in my before. All the best to you , Marybeth

  • commented on Longing Love 2016-12-17 07:00:05 -0800
    So well said. I share all of your sentiments.

  • commented on Silver linings 2016-12-16 04:11:13 -0800
    Beautiful. You inspire all of us. Although it can be the hardest thing, remaining positive in this life we have left without our other half is still a blessing. We do need to be reminded of that.

  • commented on I'm Tired 2016-12-05 19:27:31 -0800
    I so get this today. Sooo tired of feeling this way and yes, not letting anyone see that side of it. I hope it’s true that things will get better and we all will have an amazing happy life.

  • commented on Hangover 2016-11-25 17:59:59 -0800
    As I began to read this I realized that this was exactly the phrase that expresses what I’ve been feeling all day . And as I continued to read I recognized this feeling as I’ve had it many times after returning home alone once again. I like the point of embracing it as part of embracing the love. Thank you for giving words to the feelings. Marybeth

  • commented on It's Back Again, But You're Not Here .... 2016-10-22 08:36:42 -0700
    Kelley: You are such a brave and selfless person for sharing your story and your reasons for sharing it now show you to be a person of great conviction. I know that this is such a great personal sacrifice but despite that you are willing to reach out for a greater cause. You are a woman to be admired and show all of us the best part of ourselves. I am sure that your husband is looking over you and is so very proud of you for doing this. Hoping this brings you some peace. Marybeth

  • commented on Smile, even when it's hard 2016-10-04 16:10:01 -0700
    I loved this I just got past one year and it’s been so emotional. But damn, I do keep smiling even through the tears sometimes. You are right, it’s how you move ahead.

  • commented on He Was My Addiction 2016-10-02 06:57:23 -0700
    Hang in there Kaiti. People need to know the truth. The kindest, most sensitive souls are often the ones who struggle with and sometimes succumb to addiction. Too many families are left devastated in these circumstances and fail to receive the support and respect they need as these situations only complicate their grief. Kudos to you and God Bless

  • commented on My Two-ish Selves~ 2016-09-14 18:50:40 -0700
    Alison: Just yesterday I was thinking again that I just do not feel the same way in my body since my husband Jeff died. it’s the feeling you described, the hum in your blood. I feel a vibration in my body that was never there before. Your description of all of what we feel is so on point. Thanks again for sharing and putting into words what some of us feel but cannot express. safe travels

  • commented on So I Don't Fade~ 2016-08-31 08:56:08 -0700
    So real and raw and absolutely true for many of us. It helps to know iothers get it.

  • commented on Stepping Stones 2016-08-25 10:05:29 -0700
    Well said Stephanie. I too am struggling with change and perspective at 11 months out. Trying to maintain a positive attitude has been difficult recently. Your perspective will help tremendously

  • commented on This Silent Companion~ 2016-08-10 05:50:05 -0700
    Alison: Once again you have expressed exactly what has been in my heart especially this past week. It’s been 10 months and 10 days since he’s gone and the silence is the hardest part. I guess as time goes on without him at my side the reality of this loss becomes clearer. I miss him every single moment and my life is just about trying to fill the hours and escape the silence. thank you for such a beautiful but heartbreaking expression of love. because after all , our heartbreak is a testament to the amazing love we shared.

  • commented on Rhetorical Questions of the Night~ 2016-06-08 05:45:56 -0700
    Alison: Your thoughts are all the same thoughts I have had since my husband Jeff has been gone. I’m not sure exactly how they continue to exist but I know they do and that does sometimes give me comfort. As for the rest of my life, I just hope it’s not a very long one because I’m not the same person I was when he was here. The passion for a life that no longer exists dies with that person who completed it. I suppose we are to find a new life and develop new passion. But who wants that when the only thing we want is the life we had with them. I just concentrate on each day and try to make plans a few weeks out so I have something to get me through a bit longer. It’s gotten me through 8 months and 8 days so far…… Is that a life? It’s all I have for now