Our world is unforgiving of those who grieve,
Those who mourn.
We get a bit of time initially, of course.
But, too soon, we hear through words unspoken and spoken,
Through actions of those we know, or don’t know…
That we must be different than we are.
Be this or that,
Something other than what our heart and soul is telling us to allow.
What we must allow, now.
This is not life as it was and learning about life as it is, takes forever and a day.
We are told we must accept the death,
As if we don’t know down to our very DNA that our person is gone, gone, gone.
Those who utter the word acceptance
Skim and slip easily over what they think it means,
Not knowing, really, but accepting what has been told to them,
So, they parrot the word to we who grieve.
I’ve come to realize that acceptance has little to nothing to do with the death of our person,
And everything to do with accepting the craziness of grief, the uncertainty, the inevitability, the fear, the anxiety, the devastation, the day after day waking to without-ness…
The duality of life
That exists whether we wish it or not.
The duality that says we are this AND we are that.
We are not this OR that.
This duality that allows me to live without him,
Each day of this life, each year of this life,
For the rest of my life.
I am this AND I am that.
But always, always, always, his.