Kelley Lynn

When I first lost my husband to sudden death, I knew absolutely nobody that was my age who was widowed. The word "widow" made me cringe, and I ran away from any possibility that it could or would ever apply to me. Then I discovered Soaring Spirits and Camp Widow. Here were these people - hundreds of them - all over the country and the world - who were just like me. They had lost their partners too, and they were hurting and feeling alone too. Except suddenly, none of us were alone anymore, because now we had each other. The widowed community that I have met through Soaring Spirits is a HUGE part of the reason why I am alive and WANTING to be alive today. No joke. My widowed friends save my life over and over and over again, and I love them in a way that is impossible to describe. Soaring Spirits connects widowed people, and when you lose the person you thought you'd spend the rest of your life with - connection to people who "get it" means everything. My friends in the widowed community are evidence that there is life - joyful life - after loss. They inspire me daily, and I will always pay it forward however I can to Soaring Spirits, for giving me back my life again.

The Jury Has Made a Decision ...

As a widowed person, I sometimes feel as if I'm been convicted of something. 

Perhaps I did something wrong, and I just dont remember. 

Being widowed is sort of like having to plead your case,

take the Fifth,

plead insanity, 

to a Jury of your "peers",

over and over and over 

Again. 

For some reason,

when you become widowed,

people seem to think

that this gives them the right

to give any and all opinions

on your life. 

How you should feel.

What you should do. 

Shouldnt do. 

How you should grieve. 

When you should date. 

When you should "get rid of" his things. 

Take off your wedding ring. 

Move on. 

Get over it. 

"It's been 3 months. Why arent you dating anyone?" 

OR 

"It's been 6 years, and you're in LOVE after only knowing someone for a few months? That seems VERY FAST!" 

Well,

you know what? 

Fuck off. 

Seriously. 

Fuck. 

Off.  

 

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6 reactions Share

  • commented on Around the Corner 2015-06-13 08:21:14 -0700
    I hope your day was somewhat peaceful and that you felt his love today, BJ. Thank you for your kind words, and I will check out your blog for sure……

  • commented on The Musician: Part II 2015-06-12 10:53:08 -0700
    DAMMIT!!!! I have to wait …. again!!!! LOL I love this story!

  • commented on New Paths to Mindfulness 2015-06-09 19:54:49 -0700
    I love all the ways that you and Sarah continue to love and discover Megan and Drew THROUGH one another – while always building onto your own special thing too. Its really quite beautiful.

  • commented on Colors of Love 2015-06-07 16:44:35 -0700
    I cant wait to talk with you on the phone soon. I NEED to know the details of your MIL meeting Mike – that is just beyond bizarre, and amazingly beautiful. Drew’s mom sounds like such a special person, honestly. Have a love-filled weekend xoxo

  • commented on Letting Go of my Dream, Making Way for the New 2015-06-06 18:06:01 -0700
    Wow, that is big. Im not sure Im quite there yet. I look forward to my future now, and I am excited and scared about it, but I still ALWAYS see it as “second best” to the life I would have had with Don. I feel like I might always feel like this version of life is second best – maybe not – but right now, Its hard for me to see NOT feeling that way. Thats amazing that you are ab le to let go of your future together. Im not yet able to.

  • commented on The Musician: Part I 2015-06-06 18:00:41 -0700
    Well damn … Im on the edge of my seat over here with whats going to happen next … I have to wait a whole week??? Well, at this point its only a few days since Im reading this late, but still …….

  • commented on Here and Now 2015-06-06 17:50:48 -0700
    That IS pretty damn awesome! Go you!!! You sound so much happier and healthier lately. Cant wait to see you again xoxo

  • commented on Be Kind 2015-06-05 10:42:36 -0700
    This picture is soooo powerful. I need to remember to be kind to me. I am really good at beating myself up. Thanks for the awesome words.

Kelley is a comedian, writer, actor, and speaker living in NYC. She married her soul-mate and best friend Don, in October of 2006. She was 35, and he was 42. Just over four years later, he would die shockingly from a massive heart-attack. Kelley has turne
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