Kelley Lynn commented on The First Big Departure 2015-09-20 13:17:41 -0700I love that you recognize and acknowledge that there will always be that other path of what COULD have happened had he not died … man, its so painful and hard to always know that, isnt it? To have it floating around, that big unanswered question. Like you said, it deserves tears. Im so happy, and sad, but mostly happy, for you, for the life you continue to create and live.
Kelley Lynn commented on Regretting an Absent Memory 2015-09-19 08:00:04 -0700BY the way, thank you for letting me tell the story about the Rainbow Bidge, which Ill be doing in my personal blog over the weekend. I havent had the time to properly write it all out, but I do today and tomorrow.
Kelley Lynn commented on What Not to Talk About on a First Date... 2015-09-19 07:48:05 -0700Ugh, yeah, this made me cringe. And you are WAY braver than me. I also want to fall in love again, but Im just NOT willing to “put myself out there” through the dating sites , or go on multiple dates with different people. I literally want my person to just fall into my lap, and if they dont, oh well. Im soooo not willing to go searching for them lol. Im too damn tired and lazy and Ive been through too much. I give you a lot of credit. That conversation had to be painful and sad. I would be afraid Id burst into tears from being forced to talk about , like you said, the "most painful thing " in my life. Major hugs, woman. xoxo
Kelley Lynn commented on Parallels & Pushing On 2015-09-06 09:02:11 -0700Cant. Stop. Crying. The stars . Your mom. Shelby’s mom. Her bedroom. Your bedroom. All of it. How unbelievably poetic and beautiful. I want to know everything. How it goes with the parents, how it goes with the rental place, Im going to be stalking your life cuz this shit is awesome and fascinating and beautiful and epic. See you in a few days!!!!
Kelley Lynn commented on The Tangible Taste of Missing Him 2015-09-05 07:38:55 -0700Yeah. I soooo get it. Its always there. The missing . Always. Ive been missing mine like mad lately too. That ache …
Kelley Lynn commented on What A Man Is 2015-09-03 20:43:52 -0700Wow thanks guys for all the comments. Some of them came later in the week so I didnt see them until now. Im so glad this resonated with so many of you. Rebecca – thats how I feel too, like I already paid my dues for YEARS with the horrid dating and the single life. Ugh. It sucks…..
Kelley Lynn commented on Ian's Birthday Gift 2015-08-27 07:52:48 -0700Oh wow, I had no idea this was your final post. What a beautiful way to end
-and begin. You look so happy in this picture and this is such a beautiful and love-filled story. I will miss your blog posts, and I wish you so much joy in life ahead !
Kelley Lynn commented on The Two Faces of Fall 2015-08-23 07:27:30 -0700I actually remember you doing that haunted house, and how much fun you said you had. You are going to love the autumn leaves. One day, you NEED to come to where I grew up in Massachusetts. They are truly the most beautiful in New England. Mass, Vermont, New Hampshire. The leaves are stunning in October.
Kelley Lynn commented on I Choose Love - Over and Over Again 2015-08-22 08:50:12 -0700AMen to that.
Kelley Lynn commented on The Warrior and the Wildflowers 2015-08-16 13:09:43 -0700So weird, because I SORT OF talked about something a bit similar, but yet very different, in my Friday post. It was about food, but the pattern of how I use it to cope with tragedy, trauma, grief, etc. But, unlike you, when Don died, I DID go right back to my old ways of using food as my escape / numb place / sheild against the world. It was only just recently that I am finally breaking free of that, like a mmonth ago, and trying a new way. Im super proud of you for all the ways you have opened yourself up to love , and I have seen it happen first-hand in you. Since I first knew you until now, the changes are immense and quite beautiful. Love you xo.
Kelley Lynn commented on Widowed... without children 2015-08-15 10:25:17 -0700Oh I totally get this, except after 4 years , Im STILL not ready to date, AND Im 43 instead of 35. So, I pretty much have accepted that my chances at being a mom are gone. Theyre just gone. Its something else Ive had to grieve, and it sucks. I cry about it a lot, and its a horrible thing to realize. But there it is. I hope your next happiness in love is just around the corner…….
Kelley Lynn commented on Food, My Old Friend 2015-08-15 10:27:11 -0700Thanks Marissa, but I really really hate ANYTHING in my water except ice. No lemon, no fruit, no nothing. And I dont like seltzer/club soda, yuck. So thats out. Ill just deal with the water lol. Its boring as hell, but oh well.
Kelley Lynn commented on We Have a Widow's Voice Baby! 2015-08-11 16:45:05 -0700A beautiful story. Congrats!
Kelley Lynn commented on A Big Little First 2015-08-09 09:07:43 -0700Sniff sniff ….. you have no idea how much I look forward to reading about you and Mike and Shelby and Drew and Megan and your beautifully amazing extended family …. and yes, your mom is all over this too. Im SO happy for you that being with Shelby is so healing , and it makes total sense why. Its just so damn beautiful …….
Kelley Lynn commented on Happy for You, In Pain for Me 2015-08-09 09:44:31 -0700Arnie, you are SOOOO worthy of love, and dont ever think otherwise. We all love you and you have found a second chance in Beth, and she is a beautiful soul. We were honored to be there to witness it. I think the pain just comes with the territory of being widowed, but its very much worth it. I was SO HAPPY just seeing you happy. And its really normal that you had your own trigger moments too. Im so happy for you, I really cant say it enough times xoxo
Kelley Lynn commented on The Anger isn't as Important as the Love 2015-08-08 10:52:52 -0700This made me teary too. We both need a big ole hug right about now lol. So strange that we both went to our 3rd wedding since the death, on the same day, and we both wrote about it and found it really really hard. And I totally get the anger thing. Youre right. The love is more important, but I do think in order to get past the anger, you need to feel it and let yourself BE angry as long as and whenever you need to. Talk about it in grief counseling and move through it, and then it will eventually let itself go. Just my opinion, but I went through a VERY angry stage and thats what I did. I also let it out in physical ways. Punching bag. Beating up my steering wheel while parked in my car. Screaming my head off. I did these thingsfor months before I finally didnt need to anymore. Love you xoxo
Kelley Lynn commented on Decade 2015-08-04 20:48:12 -0700I love the way you write. Im so happy for you and Sarah and Shelby for this next adventure you are all about to go on … I am pretty sure that Megan approves 100%.
Kelley Lynn commented on Widow Bingo 2015-08-02 18:36:22 -0700It is the absolute WORST when you are being held hostage by someone who is making dumb comments. Happened to me at the hair salon, and theres literally nowhere to run, because your hair is being washed under a public sink. Ughhhhh. Brave, sweet girl you are going to that wedding. Id love to hear how it was for you. I was at Arnie’s wedding that same day – and there were LOTS of very unexpected grief triggers for those of us widowed peeps who went. It was interesting. And it was hard. And I was soooo happy for him. and I felt all of those emotions at the exact same time, in the exact same breath.
Kelley Lynn commented on Grieving the Grief Years 2015-08-02 18:30:01 -0700Wow. So many changes coming. And so many changes within you. Its a lot to take in and process and live. But youre doing a beautiful job ..
Kelley Lynn commented on Second Year Milestones... and Counting 2015-07-18 15:45:10 -0700Love you. Cant wait to see you again. For me, year two was absolute hell on earth, but so was year one. Just in a different way. This past year, year 4, was the first one I felt like I was actually living fully and where I have grown the most and healed the most so far. I was a mess the first 2 and a half years at least lol.
I hate my anxiety.
I hate that my husband died,
while I was asleep,
and he had just left for work.
I hate that a ringing phone,
in the early morning hours,
will forever make me panicky,
and give me that feeling,
of knives sitting in my throat.
I hate that he just disappeared,
from my life.
He wasn't sick.
He wasn't ever sick.
just like that,
he was gone.
I hate that I was sleeping,
while my husband was collapsing,
on a floor,
inside a store,
I have gone through the necessary therapy,
processing through these emotions,
letting them shift to somewhere different,
and it has helped,
I will always, always
feel a sense of helplessness,
and unbelievable terror,
when its morning-time,
and I haven't heard from my love.Read more