Kelley Lynn

When I first lost my husband to sudden death, I knew absolutely nobody that was my age who was widowed. The word "widow" made me cringe, and I ran away from any possibility that it could or would ever apply to me. Then I discovered Soaring Spirits and Camp Widow. Here were these people - hundreds of them - all over the country and the world - who were just like me. They had lost their partners too, and they were hurting and feeling alone too. Except suddenly, none of us were alone anymore, because now we had each other. The widowed community that I have met through Soaring Spirits is a HUGE part of the reason why I am alive and WANTING to be alive today. No joke. My widowed friends save my life over and over and over again, and I love them in a way that is impossible to describe. Soaring Spirits connects widowed people, and when you lose the person you thought you'd spend the rest of your life with - connection to people who "get it" means everything. My friends in the widowed community are evidence that there is life - joyful life - after loss. They inspire me daily, and I will always pay it forward however I can to Soaring Spirits, for giving me back my life again.

Removed

I was talking with another widow the other day, and she told me that lately when she looks at the pictures on her wall of her and her late husband, it feels like it was someone else in those pictures. It feels like some other life, or another lifetime ago. She said she used to feel really sad when looking at the pictures, but now its more of an emptiness, and a big void. She stares at the picture, as if trying to feel something, but it just feels like nothing. And then THAT makes her sad. 

"I know that feeling," I empathized. "It's like you feel removed from that life. Like it wasnt you who was in it, or it's somehow been detached from you." 

"YES!!!! Exactly! Removed!!!", she said in loud agreement. "Why do we feel removed from our own lives?", she wondered. "That sucks!" 

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  • commented on The Fear of Taking New Risks 2019-07-16 03:47:14 -0700
    It’s a “widow-bago”

  • commented on Fearing More Death 2019-07-16 03:44:03 -0700
    Love you. And I totally get this.

  • commented on Summer Has a Feel ... 2019-06-22 13:52:23 -0700
    Im so sorry Bonnie, for all you are going through. My husband died at work. They found him collapsed on the floor at his volenteer job an hour after he got there. I woke up to a ringing phone from the hospital telling me to get there right away, that they had my husband. They wouldnt tell me anything else. I took that cab alone and when I got to the ER, they told me that he was rushed from work to them and he didnt make it. Im so sorry for what we all go through… the guilt, the horrible images, the missing… alll of it. Its so hard. Please take care of yourself and thank you for sharing some of your story with me.

  • commented on Random Widower Thoughts 2019-06-14 07:05:45 -0700
    I loved this blog of yours. Im the Friday writer on here, and this is the first time Ive stopped to check out your words before writing my own blog post. I will certainly be doing more of that, because I really loved what you have to say. Keep being honest. My husband and I had a huge music connection too, we love jazz and the Roots are awesome! Also, its totally normal to feel both grateful for your daughter and intensely sad that your wife isnt here , and to be confused by all of it. Hang in there, youre doing great things.

  • commented on Call Me Anytime 2019-05-10 13:48:16 -0700
    Yes to all of this. I remember all of our late night chats, and middle of the day chats, and the ones where we cried hard to each other over our failed new dating attempts, and other things. Such a deep bond is created through mutual loss. And what is REALLY cool is watching the person you saw at their saddest, living again and happy and finding her joys. It makes me so happy when I see my widowed friends creating lives that they can be proud of and joyful in. Love you xo

  • commented on Titles 2019-05-04 19:55:21 -0700
    See you next summer lol

  • commented on It Never Gets Old 2019-04-05 06:56:59 -0700
    thank you Noreen. widowed people are my best audience. You are my people, my tribe!!! I love doing what I do, and I love coming to camp and relaxing with my friends in the widowed community. ps I dont think your google search was “accidental.” you were meant to find us, to help you find your way xo

  • commented on When Hard Days Come 2019-03-29 12:02:18 -0700
    I still find Dons birthday to be sooooo hard, because hes dead, and he doesnt get to live life anymore, and there will never be a day where that doesnt depress me, or where I think how unfair it is that he got such a short life span. The way you honor Drew is always so beautiful and so touching. He will live on and on because of who you are, and because you will make it so. Love you xo

  • commented on Self-Caretaking 2019-03-29 11:59:55 -0700
    Mike thank you for sharing this, it helps me greatly in recognizing signs of depression with people in my own life. I think its great that you are taking care of yourself, and I hope that you find yourself with greater peace because of it.

  • commented on It's a Real Thing. Camp Crash~ 2019-03-29 11:54:15 -0700
    It was SO awesome connecting with you this time around, attending your workshop, introducing you to my guy, who has been so incredibly supportive – and dancing with you at the banquet!!! I didnt dance a lot, but when I did, you were out there, and it made me smile. I love my widowed family :)

  • commented on Me and the Universe~ 2019-03-14 19:19:06 -0700
    I love this. Christina is amazing. I met her long ago also, and we have become friends. She is wonderful and very generous and big hearted. I have her new book and its been hard for me to read. I dont know why. I think Im scared to “go there” for some reason, but I have always beleived everything she speaks of. Energy. Love never dies. We are connected forever. All of it. My grief counelor took me through a period during our sessions a couple years ago, where she had me “shift” my relationship with Don from one of husband wife, to one of “forever connected , a beautiful bond, he is your spirit guide.” IT was soooo hard for me, to no longer “feel” married to him , but once I did it, I actualyl felt closer to him than ever before. I cant explain it, but ever since then, I feel him near me ALL THE TIME. Its not nearly as great as having him here on earth with me, but its nine million steps above feeling like he is nowhere, or somewhere where I cant feel him. I feel him right now. He is a part of everything. In some ways, our relationship feels even more profound than ever. I think you will feel that with your Chuck. I really do. I hope this helps.

  • commented on Quality Time 2019-03-14 19:11:49 -0700
    Time lost feels so heavy after our person dies. I am VERY aware of precious time now, in my current relationship. I totally get it.

  • commented on Accepting Fear 2019-03-14 19:09:33 -0700
    Don , your comment made me laugh lol. Sarah, I agree that it helps enormously to share with this community and to write it all out . The fears are so real and terrifying, it feels good to just put them somewhere sometimes, instead of hiding or ignoring them.

  • commented on Trauma Triggers: Is This Still a Thing? 2019-03-14 19:07:04 -0700
    thank you everyone for these very kind comments. The trauma is real, as you all know.

  • commented on Favorite Parent 2019-02-22 07:02:18 -0800
    This is so cute and I actually had a “tear” while reading about Shelby having a tear. Ha!!! I love that Weird Al is the thing you have in common. How hilariously perfect. I love him also. Hes the best. I bet that concert will be so silly and funny and just all kinds of FUN! Take pics please when you go!!!

  • donated 2018-11-27 17:25:00 -0800

    Loved, Missed and Remembered

    TileFix.jpgFor #givingtuesday Soaring Spirits is honoring every donation made in support of our research-based, hopeful programs by creating a custom memory tile as a thank you for every #givingtuesday donation!

    How it works:

    1. Make a donation for #givingtuesday by using the link below.

    2. Forward your donation confirmation to michele@soaringspirits.org and attach a jpeg or png photo file of the person you’d like to remember. Copy and paste the following information into your email:

      Your name:
      The name of the person you’d like to remember:
      Your relationship to the remembered person:
      Text describing the memory you’d like to include with your photo:

    3. Check any Soaring Spirits social media feed to collect your tile!

      Facebook: facebook.com/soaringspiritsinternational
      Instagram: @soaringspiritsint
      Twitter: @soaringspirits

    4. Share your photo and tag anyone with whom you’d like to share your memory or any person you’d love to create a memory tile with their own memories either or your loved one or someone else they’d like to honor!

    Soaring Spirits programs have experienced a 30% growth this year and we think this is just the beginning of serving an increasing number of widowed people every year. Your donation of any amount will help us reach our goal of raising $30,000 this year in support of our 30% growth. Every dollar counts and every donation will be honored with a shared memory! What a beautiful way to make a difference as we also honor the endless nature of love.

    Donate

  • donated 2019-07-22 12:30:16 -0700

    One-Time Donation

    *All donations are processed in US$

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  • commented on Fire and Rain and Huge Grief Triggers 2018-07-06 19:26:41 -0700
    Johan, 15 years later, are the grief triggers still there??? Im guessing the answer is YES.

  • commented on PRESSURE 2018-05-29 07:15:46 -0700
    Hi Linda! And thank you! Yes of course. The book will be available through Amazon once its finished. I will let everyone know!!!

  • commented on Second Time Around 2018-04-27 13:14:52 -0700
    Thank you Misty!

Kelley is a comedian, writer, actor, and speaker living in NYC. She married her soul-mate and best friend Don, in October of 2006. She was 35, and he was 42. Just over four years later, he would die shockingly from a massive heart-attack. Kelley has turne
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