Stephen Hochhaus

  • commented on Pray to Live 2016-03-30 18:31:06 -0700
    There was a profound statement in a book I read so many years ago I can’t even tell ya. and the quote is “Life is difficult. Once you accept this fact you can get on with the rest of your life”. M. Scott Peck, “The Road Less Traveled”. That Kelly is what you are living and Bravo! Life opens up when you accept that grief sucks and you can now go on with living.

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  • commented on I Will Never Move On 2016-02-19 06:27:24 -0800
    Kelly I do so many of the same things for honoring them is to keep their memory alive to the world. It is indeed how we best express our love for the one’s who made us better than we were and so as you so perfectly stated, we allow others to know how truly wonderful they were and still are. Having read many things you’ve shared about your husband, I can see what a good man he was so it works. You have written well what many of us feel.

  • commented on Validating my Truth 2016-02-12 13:26:56 -0800
    Rebecca you touch upon a subject that many of us feel yet don’t think about it so readily and that is how seldom we hear a condolence as time passes. Oh it passes for sure and most friends and family have moved on but we’re still here aren’t we? It’s almost as if we had to go to a mirror, look ourselves in the eye and say “I am so sorry” for we kind of need that once in awhile from someone who knew our lovers. Funny how as the years go by we can feel even more alone now than at the beginning of our journey.

  • commented on Keep Them Alive at Christmas 2015-12-26 12:05:47 -0800
    What a wonderful idea to ask us to tag up Kelley and speak of our loves missing this year. So here’s to my bride Kathy who I know is with me on this trip to Virginia yet how very much I miss her touch. Christmas was her time of year. The baking, the decorating, the parties……..oh yeah! She was indeed the hostess with the hostess. It was the time of my birthday too which she never failed to make so special. It seems so painfully empty now even in a crowd but I still can find a smile creeping in that I am so aware she makes happen.

  • commented on Holy...What is~ 2015-12-02 15:38:56 -0800
    That’s so great Alison! How nice it is to know more about the man who Chuck is. There is a pink wave of love that trails behind everywhere you go. I know, I saw it. I am glad to know more of the story now. Your life is truly an Odyssey. Sometimes that happens and we have nothing to do with it becoming so. I couldn’t imagine Chuck not finding that pink rig yet I know he would find you anyway. He will be there at the end dear lady. I’m sure of that.

  • commented on The Word Widow 2015-11-24 02:33:34 -0800
    I wear the badge of widowed with honor where underneath those words are
    courage, honor, devotion, compassion, hope, and love.
    I’ve picked those up on my five year journey surrounded by those other special people who taught me I was still alive, reminded me I was still in love, and led me to sunlight.
    I so get what you are saying Michele. In the depth and darkness of sorrow we find those other lost souls who inspire each other.

  • commented on Birthday Wishes 2015-11-20 10:45:51 -0800
    Stephanie I wish I hadn’t missed this blog when it happened but belated birthday wishes to Mike. I know what memories can be brought back. My bride died a month before her 52nd birthday but I celebrate anyway. Life can be so unfair but as Peter Falk said in the Princess Bride…“Where is it written that life is fair?”. It just and simply sucks.

  • commented on Echo 2015-11-20 10:01:45 -0800
    Void? Oh hell yes! It’s so hard to go home when the voice of reason, calm, and support is silenced. I never realized how left with my own untempered thoughts, I am scared shitless.
    You nailed this one Kelley.

  • commented on Be Warned. Capitol Letters Used Frequently~ 2015-11-18 22:09:34 -0800
    Yes Alison, great words indeed! Most of the time I get up and wonder how I am still here. I never looked at it as an accomplishment till now.

  • commented on Stream of Life 2015-11-12 05:18:01 -0800
    Yes Stephanie when new replaces old it’s an emotional thing for us no matter how you look at it. Kathy use to say “change is good” but my perspective became quite a bit different after she was gone. I couldn’t bear to change a thing for it might erase the memory. But, things wear out. I knew it would happen and things break. I could see that coming. It doesn’t change the future wishing to hold on to the past. The future comes just the same. One day her car that we bought two weeks before the cancer found us will wear out too. “Never meant to last”, Jimmy Buffett. Unless you refer to true love, the one constant in the universe.

  • commented on One Powerful Word~ 2015-11-11 05:03:22 -0800
    " Fuckin A Bubba!"

  • commented on A Friend and A Widow 2015-11-08 07:08:17 -0800
    Well Rebecca I don’t think she lost her best friend after all. You are not the same for certain yet neither is she. True friends remain friends even with changes. What you are doing is so cool. I call it dumb courage cause it’s like when we act to do something for someone else not thinking about the consequences till we’ve jumped in. It will take strength to make it through but my money’s on you.

  • commented on Laden with Gold 2015-11-05 06:48:45 -0800
    Stephanie what a beautiful picture you give us about the beauty of what was yet still is regardless of condition. Yes that Japanese man exists all over the world. The opposite are those who restore a damaged painting as if it had never happened but if you hold a black light over it, you see what was masked. The repair hides the truth. The art is still a thing of beauty just as your heart wounded by loss glows with the love that still resides there.
    Nicely written.

  • commented on No Matter How Long it is~ 2015-11-04 12:16:41 -0800
    Yeah Alison, when it ends, Now you can go with him. I know in my heart of hearts, that they will be there to meet us. Even if I should be wrong, well……… death is eternal. I’ll find her no matter how long it takes. Like Robin Williams said in “What Dreams May come”, “I found you in hell. Don’t you think I can find you in Jersey?”. Whenever I travel, I can call my house and listen to her voice answer the phone and get my fix.
    Chuck was indeed extraordinary. He said he will see you again and he is a man of his word!

  • commented on Backward is Forward 2015-10-30 12:09:24 -0700
    Wow Kelley! That is just freaking powerful and having just celebrated my fourth, I relate so much to things you’ve said. Your right for sure that we aren’t going backwards even if it feels like that sometimes.

  • commented on To Grief or Not to Grief, and What's Normal or Not? 2015-10-28 07:26:34 -0700
    Alison I am so sorry about your dad. I lost mine five months after my wife so numb was the order of the day. Crazy? I don’t think so. Grief does this to us. When I passed you west of Tucson your window was down and the look on your face WAS the energizer bunny now that you mention it. Just remember what Dory said. “Keep on swimming, swimming, swimming,” I hope your feeling better now. Seeing your rig on the road boosted my spirits like I can’t tell ya.

  • commented on This Ringing 2015-10-22 07:31:45 -0700
    You describe distractions perfectly Stephanie. That’s what it is, simply distractions and though as you say we are indeed living by no choice in an ever evolving new life, when the distractions are gone, the same old reality creeps back in. The triggers will still get us every time. How, and why even should that ever end? I can’t see it but I keep soldiering on because like you say we are indeed learning to live in this new world even if it still sucks sometimes. Good blog. I really felt what you said.

  • commented on Four Seasons 2015-10-19 07:56:51 -0700
    Tricia. I am saddened by the news of your leaving as a writer here. I understand it but I will miss it. You paint a picture with your words and your writing has always brought me comfort for I relate in so many ways to where you are in life. I will look forward to reading your future blogs whenever they come up and thank you dear lady for the year you have shared with us.

  • commented on With Apologies~ 2015-10-14 14:37:18 -0700
    Glad you are in a safe place Alison. being sick without the comfort of our husbands and wives is worse than just being sick. It makes us miss them just that much more. Be better soon.