In Love With...A Dead Man

He strides through my mind on a daily basis.

My heart yearns for the Love I felt so strongly with him.

My soul remembers back to the years we shared.

My body yearns for his hands upon it.

It’s been 5 years and 3 months since he left my world.

I’m in love with a dead man.

I can almost hear the shrieks of dismay and shock and see people draw back in…

I’m not sure why they would draw back upon hearing this from me.

Maybe it’s too morbid? I’ve been accused of morbidity.

Maybe they feel that it says something slightly crazy about me, that I’m in love with a dead man…

And I speak so openly about it.

Maybe they think that being in love with a dead man will keep me from being in love with a man who is alive.

Not that any opportunities have presented themselves.

Here’s the god’s honest truth…

I think about my dead husband day and night.

My pulse beats to the memories of our years together.

As I go about living this life…interacting with those I meet along the way on a daily basis…

I’m thinking about him.

I think of how he would handle tough situations.

The toughest situation being the one where I have to live without him.

He is my first thought upon waking,

My last thought before sleep claims me,

And every thought in between.

I do all the things I do and I live this life and few, maybe, suspect that I’m living a life in my heart where he is still with me.

He is my every moment and, honestly, I have no care for other’s opinions of that.

And, if ever a man should materialize in front of me…a man who is perfect for me…I’ll tell him right away that I’m in love with a dead man, but the human heart expands to love,

And I can be in love with a breathing and walking around man, even while I’m in love with a dead man.

And always will be.

So, there you go.

Maybe this small bit of writing is what I’d use on a dating profile.

It’s a pretty good filter, I expect.

*Only serious and very strong, enlightened, and courageous applicants need apply*

Showing 4 reactions

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  • Dee Sweet-Greenwood
    commented 2020-01-02 23:27:23 -0800
    He left me to go to Rehab, where he “met a nice girl (with 5 kids) and” God" told him to leave me and be with her", which he did. This was in 1994. We kept in contact over the years. I got a divorce and married a Canadian man. Ex Hubby died in July of 2018. I am still married to the Canadian, but he understands, as much as anyone can, about my ex. I still love my ex and pray that we will be together when I die. My life on earth is Hell.
  • Lynn Coccio DiGiacomo
    commented 2018-08-05 20:01:36 -0700
    Your writing has so “hit home” for me – it’s so much like what I experience, day in & day out. I’m married to a dead man. I wear his wedding ring – still can’t take it off I am constantly reliving the many years of our marriage and, in my heart, we are still married. Thanking you for describing my own thoughts and feelings so eloquently.
  • Antonella Totino
    commented 2018-07-27 13:17:27 -0700
    I too think about my husband every second. Before going to sleep, in the middle of the night when I can’t sleep( which is often)
    and upon waking and then it starts all over again.
    I had to get my vehicle serviced. What the hell do I know about that stuff? That was my husband’s role. So, at the mechanic my thoughts go to him.
    Am I doing the right thing? what would you do? everything. everywhere.
    You’re at 5 years? I’m at 8 months, soon to be nine months next week. How did you get there?
    Thanks for sharing.
  • Linda Poehler
    commented 2018-07-27 01:43:16 -0700
    I also am in love with a dead man. I go about my life and live it, but for the first time in my life I love solitude. Prior to his death I always wanted to be surrounded by people, now I actually enjoy being alone. When I’m alone, I can think of him and share the experience with him. Just me and him and no one to interrupt or distract me from thinking about him. I’m travelling and living life with him inside me now instead of beside me. But one thing is certain is I’m not ready to give him up. I love…loving him.