Hello Goodbye

Since the spring of 2015, I have written here every Tuesday (well, “most” every Tuesday).  I’ve shared my story from just a few months after losing Megan, to now. Having four plus years of what can only amount to a public “journal” has been both surreal and incredibly healing.  

Oftentimes, it’s hard to recall just how “raw” I felt in that first year or so, or how confused I was about life.  Whether I was doing the right things, or raising Shelby correctly, or honoring Megan’s legacy. I certainly never imagined I’d be writing this post, years later.  

I felt that sharing my story here was a phase.  That after a year or so, I wouldn’t have anything to discuss any further, or that I would burn out and simply wish to go silent.  There have also been numerous times that I wanted to share about my new partner and current fiance, but second-guessed the subject, not wanting to feel as if I was unrelatable to the thousands of widows and widowers that either have no desire to be with another person, or have dipped their toes into the dating world, only to find that nobody even remotely compares to “their person”.

I write today to state that this “phase” is coming to an end of sorts.

As of next week, I will no longer be writing for Soaring Spirits every Tuesday.  Over these four years, it truly has been an honor, and has also grown increasingly difficult to simply find a relatable subject to write about.  Time has indeed healed some wounds. The raw emotion of the early stages of my widowhood has given way to the “picking of scabs”...oftentimes having to force myself to reopen those wounds in order to write.

But I’m not leaving Soaring Spirits.

There is a new beginning occurring next week.  

Going forward, our Sunday writer, Sarah, and I will be sharing this space.  We will alternate time, or bounce things off of each other each weekend. We may even write a “shared post” from time to time.  This will not be difficult for us to coordinate, considering that, if you are otherwise unaware, the two of us are engaged to be married next summer, and have lived together for quite some time.  

This gives us both an opportunity to share more about what being widowed and having a new partner is like.  About the difficulties we faced in dating, perceptions of the others’ person, and the triggers and emotions that we both still experience, years after losing Megan and Drew.  About parenting a daughter that lost her mother at a young age, from both the birth parent’s perspective, and from the “step” parents’ perspective.  

I’m incredibly excited to start this new schedule.  To be able to share, unapologetically, both the “previous love” and the “love after”.  

 That said, this new idea obviously leaves a vacancy on Tuesdays.  I am happy to say that the vacancy has already been filled. A member of our “community that no one wants to be a part of” has enthusiastically agreed to begin sharing her story of loss, and the life after, every Tuesday...Emma Pearson.

I will let Emma share her own story the way she wants to share it, only stating that I met Emma at Camp Widow in Toronto last fall, and being the wonderful writer and person that she is, I am certain that her words will resonate loudly in so many hearts and minds.  

So, “farewell” to Tuesday, “hello” to Sunday, and most of all…

 

“Welcome!” to Emma!


Showing 4 reactions

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  • Eileen Morales
    commented 2019-08-28 22:03:55 -0700
    I’m new here . So have a lot of catching up to do on everyone blogs. I’m glad you found your chapter 2. And it seems like everyone happy that your still staying and sharing your day together. You bring hope to this broken 💔 women.
  • Emma Pearson
    commented 2019-08-28 02:31:59 -0700
    Mike – I love how you are honouring closings and openings and old doors and new doors, and welcoming me too with such warm words. I love another aspect of our “common link” with Sarah, which is that I love to use her art in my blogposts.

    I am glad that you will be continuing to write.
  • Linda Tevebaugh Keeling
    commented 2019-08-27 19:55:35 -0700
    Whew…Originally I thought you were going to say goodbye forever and then that would mean also eventually losing Sarah so it was a relief to be informed that you are jointly sharing a day… I think it’s a great idea…
  • Cathy
    commented 2019-08-27 18:08:09 -0700
    Mike, thanks for writing and sharing your thoughts over the years, it is indeed helpful to all in the widowed community to be able to know that there are others out there in the same boat, having the same struggles and dealing with this life that has suddenly been thrust upon us. Looking forward to your Sunday posts with Sarah.