Fragile Confidence

  My daughter has a friend over for a playdate today and it has been a good introspective snapshot of where I am at.  I keep thinking that I have all of this new confidence, but some remnants of the old me remain, like persistent weeds that always finds new tunnels to the surface.

     

     

  My daughter has a friend over for a playdate today and it has been a good introspective snapshot of where I am at.  I keep thinking that I have all of this new confidence, but some remnants of the old me remain, like persistent weeds that always finds new tunnels to the surface.

     I actually find myself worrying about the opinion of a 6 year old girl as she walked into our apartment.  In my mind, she is walking into a single income home that used to be a two income home.  I felt relieved when she said, “You guys have a lot more toys and stuff than we do.”  Why do the impressions of a child matter so much to me? 

     Even though I know it is ridiculours to compare families and that people on the outside of a family rarely know the intimate details of someone else’s family.  In other words, it is nonsensical to compare families since our impressions of other families are very, very subjective—the kind of subjectivity that is more about ourselves than the actual facts about other families.  How confident can a m an be if he worries about the opinion of a 6 year old, especially since all she every does is continue to be sweet.  Bottom line, she doesn’t care!  6 years olds only care a bout a few things: playing,playing and more playing.


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