Five Years My Love

My Dear Linzi,


Five Years, my love. Five Years.


We would’ve been married five years today.


Yet another milestone you won’t be able to see or celebrate with me. What would we have done? Where would I have taken you? Who would’ve watched Lila that night? Would I have cooked for you? All questions that will forever remain unanswered and unknown.


My, where has the time gone?


It trailed off in the wake of your absence. Everywhere. Nowhere. I’m not sure. It’s been difficult to pay attention to the passage of time anymore. One more second is just another second closer to seeing you again. How long am I trapped in this prison of pain, my love?


The tears still fall just as freely as they did back then. The thought of you is still as bittersweet as the day I woke up to you gone, reconciling with myself that the night before actually happened.


I miss the arguments. I miss your encouragement and your compliments. I miss the disagreements over silly things like preference of condiments. I miss laughing at anything that didn’t make sense. I miss your critiques meant to help me do better than I once did.




I miss your hair perfectly framing that delicate face amid a porcelain glow. I miss the fierceness of your eyes and how they saw through this man every time you looked at me. I miss the optimism of your smile. Oh that smile...twice have I ever seen it so radiant. When Lila was born. And our wedding day.


Time heals all wounds they say, but this one remains open, even if but subtly.


You’re not an ex-girlfriend that I moved on from. You’re the love of my life and every inch and every color of your personality leaked into and mixed with my own and that continues to be seen and felt in everything I put my hand, my heart, and my mind to.


Maybe people are tired of hearing of you. I’m not tired of speaking of you though. Those that will listen will know you. Those that won’t will be missing out on someone wonderful.


I’m doing my best raising our precious miracle. I have quite the help but I wish you were here to make plans with us. She’s about to be 4 years old. I can tell she misses her mommy.


I miss you as well my dear. In such ways that words cannot fully express.


And I always will.


Happy 5th Wedding Anniversary ♥️


Your loving husband,


Showing 3 reactions

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  • Don Yacona
    commented 2018-04-30 12:15:38 -0700

    Since I began this journey almost three years ago, that might have been the best thing I have read.

    We were a month short of being “us” when Arlene passed. On July 6th of this year, we would have been 35 years together. We were robbed, and it sucks.
  • Lisa Richardson
    commented 2018-04-28 22:38:43 -0700
    Gabe I’m so, so sorry for your loss and so very touched by your words here.
  • Linda Tevebaugh Keeling
    commented 2018-04-28 19:22:45 -0700
    Gabe..thanks for sharing such heart felt emotions…..I know it is so very hard…….I truly get it… John and I had only been married almost 5 years when he died, 6 years ago……I will always acknowledge our anniversary… will be year 11 this year.