Diagnoses Date

We all know the dreaded dates. The anniversary of their death, birthdays, togetherness anniversaries, holidays but there’s one more on my list that adds another dark mark on my year - His diagnosis date.

Tin just felt off like he had the flu or something. No strange symptoms. No sudden pains. Just an off feeling. He did complain that he felt bloated but he just thought it might be a stomach bug and just like that, the next day, he had barely any energy and yellowing skin.

That sight is forever trapped in my memories, haunting my recollections of the past. To come home from a regular good work day excited to see him only to find him gravely ill. Unfortunately now I can say I have seen “gravely”.

Down three flights of stairs and put him into the car. The hospital was packed, blood was taken and tests were run. My 20 years in animal care gave me a sinking feeling. I had an idea of what was to come.

“Acute terminal liver failure “ was all I heard and than the sounds of the room muffled. He was given 8 months to live but he only held on for seven. That was 2 years ago this week and it’s more clear and more present than a conversation I had yesterday.

“Bryan, don’t you remember what we talked about yesterday?”

“No. I’m sorry. My widowed wisdom hasn’t left me any room for new memories...”


Showing 8 reactions

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  • Sue Howard McAulay
    commented 2019-10-14 20:08:54 -0700
    That should say 9/28/2016
  • Sue Howard McAulay
    commented 2019-10-14 20:08:10 -0700
    Ah yes! I will never forget the diagnosis date….7/1/2015. After an endoscopic ultrasound the doctor said…“Do you have a surgeon?” We just looked at each other. Then the doctor said “You’re going to need a surgeon and an oncologist.” We were in shock. Pancreatic cancer. Chemo, radiation, surgery. But 4 months after surgery the cancer was back and 2 weeks later he was gone. 9/38/2016.
    I’m so sorry for your loss, Bryan.
  • Dianne West
    commented 2019-10-14 17:40:43 -0700
    May 4, 2006 … so many years have passed since we got the cancer news but my body knows this date every year.
  • Cathy
    commented 2019-10-13 08:44:00 -0700
    Diagnoses 12/8/09, death date 2/1/10. Really tough 2 months, scrambling to find anyone who could give us a shred of hope, then realizing there was none. I so wish I could forgot these dates but we all know that is not possible, they will forever remain etched in our memory. Functioning better but miss him every day, forever and ever.
  • Adele Aldrich
    commented 2019-10-08 17:39:34 -0700
    1 year today. His birthday was 10 days ago. So no more “firsts”. I have been edgy and jumpy all day. I am mostly alone every day. I miss his presence, his laugh, his sense of humor, his power wheelchair coming down the hall from our room. I just miss him….
  • Ron Marro
    commented 2019-10-07 13:07:28 -0700
    June 9, 2015
  • Ron Marro
    commented 2019-10-07 13:06:24 -0700
    I’ll never forget the date Sandi was diagnosed. Watching her become more and more ill until 30 months later she was gravely I’ll. The gave her 18-24 months. She lasted thirty. The last three gravely I’ll. I too have seen it and it is crushing to watch the love of your life suffer and there is nothing you can do.
    Peace.
  • Don Yacona
    commented 2019-10-07 11:38:16 -0700
    In my case, diagnoses day is September 11, she tool a flop, skinned her knee, it wouldn’t heal and wound up in the hospital, where she was admitted and asked "how long have you been a diabetic?’ her answer was that she wasn’t, and they said oh yes you are and have been for a long time. I know it was September 11 because we were watching them read the names of the Trade Center victims on TV. the next year she lost a toe and was home bound for 6 months, and 5 years later, she was in the hospital with what proved to be kidney failure. 30 months later she passed, but it all started coming to the surface on September 11, 2006