Kim Boylan

  • commented on Conversations with the Widowed 2019-10-18 12:44:52 -0700
    Fun idea! Okay, here goes:
    1. Scott was hired to be Music Director at the rock radio station where I worked.
    2. He had an amazingly twisted sense of humor, he was very well read, little old ladies absolutely adored him!
    3. Most unexpected was how badly I wanted to die. I’ve never struggled with feelings like that ever in my life. For the first 4-5 months, I begged to die in my sleep. The isolation was (and still is at times) overwhelming.
    4. I’m proud that I’m keeping up with the house and yard – physically and financially.
    5. Loss has taught me that it doesn’t matter how much stuff you have, or how nice it is, none of it matters. None! The only thing that matters are the people you love.
    6. I wish people would fully realize that I will grieve Scott the rest of my life. I will never be over it, I will never stop missing him, I will never stop loving him. And if I’m having a good day, if I’m laughing and smiling, I’m STILL grieving him.
    7. For Scott’s Celebration of Life, two of his friends created a video tribute to him. When the photos of the two of us started, so did Queen’s “You’re My Best Friend” started. He really was my best friend and no one knows me better. That brings tears to my eyes every single time I hear it…crying even now!
    8. Not yet. I’m hopeful something wonderful occurs to me.
    9. No. I’ve been agnostic for many years. If anything, his death has me thinking more about other realms and possibilities that religion dare not touch.
    10. To me, the word “widow” represents strength. My grandmother was widowed a few months before I was born. She was only 44. No one in my life was stronger or more resilient – so to me, widowed people are strong.

  • donated 2018-11-27 07:41:45 -0800

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    1. Make a donation for #givingtuesday by using the link below.

    2. Forward your donation confirmation to michele@soaringspirits.org and attach a jpeg or png photo file of the person you’d like to remember. Copy and paste the following information into your email:

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  • commented on Strong on Your Love 2018-02-19 06:51:58 -0800
    Staci, I can’t stop the tears right now. Beautiful. And so heartbreakingly true. Thank you.

  • commented on I can feel your arms around my Life... 2018-02-17 18:20:08 -0800
    Staci – thank you for directing me to your blog here on Soaring Spirits! I love what you wrote. I feel homeless, too, because he’s not here – and he was such a homebody…the void feels like a vast black hole. I’m so sorry for the loss of your beloved Mike. He sounds like a really wonderful man.

  • commented on #howisoar - Dianne West 2018-02-06 06:48:53 -0800
    You are soaring, Dianne! Thank you for your inspirational post and for everything you’re doing to help those of us brand-new to this journey.

  • commented on Much ado About Nothing 2018-02-04 06:27:39 -0800
    There are times I wish I could get the memory-wiping treatment from “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind”. My memories are too painful. Perhaps I’m just too new to this journey. But like you, Gabe – I will adapt because I have no choice.

  • commented on Words We Say 2018-01-18 11:27:16 -0800
    Alison – thank you for your post, you echo my thoughts exactly. My husband was sick for only 20 days with what was finally confirmed as pancreatic cancer. He died 8 days after we were given the diagnosis, “you have 12-18 months with treatment” is what the oncologist told us, and then SHE LEFT THE ROOM and we never saw her again! Why couldn’t she tell us we didn’t have a snowball’s chance in hell?! It would have given us 8 days to get our sh*t together, gather family and friends, say our goodbyes, make sure he was comfortable those last 2 days! It would have been absolutely BRUTAL to hear, and I’m sure I would have clung to ANY hope at all, but when I took him back to the ER 24 hours before he passed, I had ZERO idea he wouldn’t be coming home. “12-18 months with treatment” my a$$.

  • commented on The End is Lurking 2018-01-14 16:08:29 -0800
    Kelley, your post is really timely for me, too. Scott passed only 50 days ago and I worry that he was terrified when I took him back to the ER the day before I elected to take him off life support. Does he know that he died? I just want to know that he’s okay!

    I can’t stop the tears right now.

  • commented on The New World 2018-01-06 21:28:41 -0800
    Very well said, Gabe. Today is 6 weeks since my best friend and husband, Scott passed. 6 weeks feels like nothing, but it feels like everything. I’m shocked I am able to get out of bed each day and carry on. But I do, because I feel him cheering me on. I know he didn’t want to leave, but pancreatic cancer had another idea. 20 days is all we knew he was sick, which I am already seeing as a blessing that he didn’t suffer more. But it doesn’t change the fact that I don’t have anyone to text my stupid thoughts to throughout the day, or see when I walk through the door each day. It sucks, and I think that’s what all widows/widowers will tell you. Yep, it’s true.

  • commented on Nobody Tells You 2018-01-05 17:36:49 -0800
    Kelley – beautifully written, even if it wasn’t your first post. I’m so happy for you that love has found you again…and I now can imagine how you’re torn. I’m nowhere near where you are in your journey, but I’m cheering you on as this new direction presents itself. Love never dies! :-)

  • commented on Idle Thoughts, Leaving 2017, Going into 2018~ 2017-12-29 12:41:35 -0800
    You’re pretty much writing what I’m feeling. I’m glad Christmas is over and like you, it was never a big deal to Scott or me, but still. He’s been gone 34 days is all. The bad news about the state of the world brings me a little comfort too. Maybe it WILL end soon and with it, my pain and heartache. There are nights I’ve wished that I don’t wake up – and that is SO unlike me. I’ve never been a “whoa is me” person, but now I am. And I can’t imagine any pain worse than this. 2017 is going to get a double-barreled flip-off from me for sure. Worst. Year. Of. My. Life.

  • commented on Happy Birthday to Michele, just one L ... 2017-12-29 12:33:15 -0800
    Very nice, Kelley! And a big HAPPY BIRTHDAY MICHELE!

    Thank you for posting this again, Kelley. I’m reading it on one of my darkest days since my husband Scott passed away 34 days ago. I’m struggling to have a reason to hope, something to look forward to, my days are too dark right now.

    Thank you both – I am so grateful for Soaring Spirits and hope to see you at Camp Widow this March!

    Kim

  • commented on The Obnoxious Holiday Letter 2017-12-23 09:11:48 -0800
    Kelley – Don and my husband Scott just may have shared the same brain. He, too was so irritated at those holiday letters that we described as “pure b-s”. I thoroughly enjoyed your post today and am smiling at the memories you’ve conjured up of Scott. He didn’t want to, but he left my side 4 weeks ago today.

    Thank you for your insight into widowhood. I’m glad I’m not the only one who can laugh at what others deem “macabre”. I will check out Widow Dark 30…that seems right up my alley!

  • commented on Wherever You Are, It's Okay 2017-12-23 05:50:53 -0800
    Hi Kelley Lynn, thank you for your beautiful post! I’m very new to this awful, heartbreaking world. My husband passed away 4 weeks ago today. I can’t believe it’s been 28 days already, and yet it feels like he’s been gone months and months. I’ve been reading many blogs and posts and am so pleased to see that not only do people survive losing the loves of their lives, but they CAN find happiness again. I am very happy for you! Kim

My best friend and husband, Scott, passed away 20 days after finding out he had cancer, which turned out to be pancreatic cancer. He passed 11/25/17. The day I call the Worst. Day. Ever. We have no kids, just our spoiled and wonderful cat.
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