Complicated Companions

Perspective is in the eye of the beholder. Everyone gets tunnel vision but what I have learned is that our loss is actually a painful gift. I know that sounds strange to view the loss of our person as a gift but that’s the only perspective that keeps me going. That there is a reason I finally found Clayton and he was taken away from me. I can share what the loss is so others appreciate what they have, however, people quickly forget the trial and tribulations of others.

It’s so difficult to hear couples complain about each other or aspects of their lives.

“Jenny/ Jonny just keeps nagging for us to get a bigger house.”

Oh I’m so sorry that is your biggest problem. I’m so sorry that the person you are with wants to continue your journey together and you guys are doing so well that you can upgrade to a 4 bed 3 bath with a yard, pool, hot tub and room to park the boat. Yeah that must suck. Glad I don’t have to deal with that difficulty…

Here is where I want to actually dive into the difficulties of being a widowed LGBTQ person. I’m not saying it is harder for us. Not by any stretch but I will say we have some different challenges. I think? With Clayton being sick and having just moved here, I don’t have many friends. I am cautious hanging out with people from work because I am their director. I don’t ever want anyone to feel there is favoritism. So I don’t go out much and don’t meet people much. Now for the “gay” thing…

I live on the panhandle of Florida. This is not the most progressive area. There are times I am concerned about the community’s perspectives. There are a handful of military bases and it’s a tourist town. The gay dating world is not an easy playing field. Around here, people are closeted, bi-curious, just want a friend with benefits or are traveling through and looking for a hookup. I don’t judge any of them for the way they want to live their lives but I know that eventually I want to find someone I can share my life with. It’s already a struggle to find the “right guy” but it’s even harder where there are so few that also want the “right guy” and a guy who is a widow comes with baggage…


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