I met Natasha on a Canadian government funded academic trip to India in 1999. I was immediately mesmerized by her; unfortunately, she thought I was rude and obnoxious because I was constantly challenging all of our professors on everything. I was the big, brown, activist from Canada who loved to stomp on traditional Indian culture. Luckily, once I stopped pursuing Natasha, friendship allowed her to really see more than just the alienated brown kid from Vancouver Island, Canada.
In 2009, we got married and bought a house together and our daughter came along. Anisha was born on December 12, 2012, yes that’s right, she was born on 12/12/12! Her name means born at the end of darkness as she was to bring so much joy and hope being the first grandchild on both sides of the family. Unfortunately, Natasha had post-partum depression from the beginning and then everything got much worse—her mother suffered a major stroke. Then, about eight months later, my mother-in-law passed away and my wife started feeling sick. At first we thought it was just grief and post-partum depression, but eventually she was diagnosed with cancer. The diagnoses meant selling our home in order to cover medical expenses. Natasha, her brother and I fought hard and researched all kinds of therapies, but after a year of fighting she slipped away on January 23, 2015.
Now, almost four years later, my daughter and I are doing better each day. I was so incredibly worried that Anisha would constantly miss her mother, but she doesn’t miss her the way I do. She was only two when Natasha died, so Anisha remembers almost nothing of her mother aside from the pictures and videos on Daddy’s phone.
Anisha and I talk very, very openly about her mother passing away. Interestingly, she is much more comfortable with her mother’s death than most adults around us. I know most people around me are tired of the topic of missing Natasha and her mom which is why I sought out this great community of support.
I look forward to connecting with all of you!