supposed to be

12_18_09.jpgsupposed to be in hawaii

with

liz

this weekend

(fucking reminder popped up on my blackberry the other day to make me feel like shit).

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Coming Out on Top ....

12_16_09.jpgI think I realized this week, for the first time, that I will survive this. Interesting timing, since Friday will be the 2 year deathiversary, but there ya go.

I could not have said that a year ago. I didn't want to survive it. Heck, there are still days that I don't want to survive this, but I know I will.

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Buoyancy

12_14_09.jpgBuoyancy (defined) is the upward force that keeps things afloat. This force enables the object to float or at least seem lighter. "At least seem lighter..."

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Widows Rock

12_13_09.JPGLast week was a whirlwind of party planning, traveling, and meeting new people who have been touched by the work of Soaring Spirits...and this blog. I attended three of the four holiday events (sorry Austin, I so wanted to be there!) planned by some amazing women, and supported by fantastic sponsors from all walks of life

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Counting

12_12_09.jpgDay 42 

I count ...

the days.

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Napping before the show....

I'm tired.

I've miscalculated my energy for this month, which has equated to many a'naps.

In the midst of the over-exertion and holiday bustle, I drained my tank with no one in sight to grab me some gas. It's just a month of lots of everything!

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a place for you, my love

12_11_09.JPGI've struggled this past year and a half to find the 'right' words to mark Jeff's life and his person on a commemorative bench on the West Coast of this island, in a the small fishing village where we met, fell in love and started our life together.

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six weeks ago

12_10_09.jpgtoday was tuesday.

and it sucked.

started the day working

on the stuff

i didn’t want to 

work on.

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Feeling Small .....

12_09_09.jpgI'm feeling a bit lost and small as I head towards the second year mark of Jim's death. This grief thing is so much bigger than I am and it draws me in to places I don't want to go.

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Wading Through

12_08_09.JPGSo it's been one of those weeks, filled with wonderful things: Widow's Rock Austin was a great time, with some great widows and friends of widows (thanks to all who came!!) and we raised money for Camp Widow 2010 (yay!!!); my sister surprised me at Widow's Rock - she flew in unexpectedly from England for the event and will stay for a week; Grayson had basketball tryouts and an awesome choir concert which went well....on the other hand the week was filled with stressful things: at work I have been second guessed and condescended to in ways I haven't since I was just starting out in my career, I have a had a crick in my neck for four days, and I have a nasty case of PMS....good times! 

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