01_15_10.JPGBefore widowhood, I really, truly thought I knew a lot. I supposed I knew how I should/would/could react in a variety of situations. How others should/could/would act. The 'right' the 'wrong' in a plethora of situations. What a variety of other people's actions meant regarding their thoughts or mental state.
I was wrong. So very wrong.

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who she was

01_14_10.jpgtaken at 

the broback wedding.

two weeks

(including a trip to greece)

after ours.

i think i have

a new favorite

photo of 


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Peace and Quiet ....

01_13_10.JPG... are not two things that I've felt a lot of over the past two years.

Not that I haven't experienced quiet .... I have .... sometimes too much quiet, right? But I haven't felt the quiet .... inside of me. Not like I used to anyway.

But there are days now ..... finally, that I am feeling more at peace .... and more quiet.

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Pretty Good

01_12_10.jpgWell, usually there is some drama or some burning question to discuss on a Tuesday....but so far, so good! What do I blog about when things are just pretty 

good? Nothing terrible to report this week, no self actualization, no amazing realizations...just normal life. I guess that is something, isn't it?

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Friends Matter

01_11_10.JPGIn my pre-widow life I was fortunate to have lots of friends. We bonded over jobs or kids or committee work or a combination of any/all of these. I knew the value of girlfriends who set you straight when you are weaving a self-destructive path, those who would hold your hair at just the right moment, and the ones with whom I could share my child rearing woes. Each and every one of these unique relationships enriched my life, and I remain grateful for every person that I have called friend.

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A Toast

01_10_10.jpgA peace settled around me this morning that muffled the noise of the day and left me smiling (except when I was trying to get the two kids out the door to pick up the third kid, so we could get the oldest kid to his concert on time) Photo above. 
"It is all good." I kept thinking...and feeling. "I am exactly where I am supposed to be."

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6 Words

I came across this article and video about "6 Word Memoirs" and how they put many people to test on what they would write. The history behind it was explained:

"The six-word memoir is said to be rooted in a bet between Ernest Hemingway and a friend — supposedly, the author claimed he could write a short story in just six words. (He won with “For sale: baby shoes, never worn.”)"

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strength and surrender

01_08_10.jpgThese two words, strength and surrender, seem to be at odds with each other. Opposites. Separate.
As a young widow, one of the phrases that I hear so often is "You're so strong!" Throughout this journey, as many of you feel as well, I haven't felt strong. I have often felt weak and lost. I have felt vulnerable and afraid. I have felt that I have given up and been broken.

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our house

01_07_10.jpgas i walked up

the hill today, i stared

at our house…


fucking loved this place.

fell in love with

it the second 

she saw it.

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Tears Still Come ....

01_06_10.JPG..... even when someone new enters your life.

There is no cure for grief.

No answer.

No person.

No miracle.

It must be traveled through.

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