Sure of You

“Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. ‘Pooh?’ he whispered.
‘Yes, Piglet?’
‘Nothing,’ said Piglet, taking Pooh’s hand. ‘I just wanted to be sure of you.’”
-
A.A. Milne


I'd be lying if there weren't moments where I begged for a sign, dream, feeling that you were here...around.

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lost and found

4_2_10.jpgI often can't help but thinking that I have mourned each facet of the loss of my love at least once. Each sad thought, each emotion explored or mulled over for its' initial contemplation. I feel that often times, I am going over previously pondered thoughts and ruminating. Picking apart and reassembling.

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passport

4_1_10.jpgbeen sort of 

dreading this day.

have to get madeline

a passport for our

upcoming trip to the banff.

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I Will Survive ....

3_31_10.jpg..... even though it did take two years for me to believe it.

I will.

.... even though it took two years for me to want to.

I will.

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Relapse

3_30_10.jpgAnother countdown. 40. Six months ago I celebrated 40. Next week would be Daniel's 40th. He only made it to 35, and now he'd be 40. Shit.

Amazingly enough, I think his birthday is harder for me than my own was. Mine sucked in it's own special way, but this is different. I'm actually 40. I'm aging. I'm alive. He's not 40. He's not aging. He's not alive. 

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Owning My Path

3_29_10.jpg"As a widow you will learn that the only choice that ultimately brings peace is walking the path of grief that has your name on it. The only way to walk with grief is to meet it head on and know that those who have walked before you have survived." ~Linda Perrone Rooney

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Ugly

3_28_10.jpg“He’s in our thoughts and prayers.”

“We are sending a blanket of love.”

Those are words I read today about a boy, who like Art is

battling his second round of cancer.

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He Did It

Michael did.

Not through buildings, books, televisions or how much money he had in his account- but through lives.

The lives he touched with his words, kindness, support. The lives he touched through his love, encouragement and unfaltering friendship.

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deux ans

3_26_10.jpgDeux ans. Two anniversaries of the day I lost my huge, hairy and hilarious husband.
I've learned so very much in these two short years. A lifetime of lessons. Lessons I didn't really want to know.

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its complicated

3_25_10.jpgspent time with a relatively

new friend.

a widow with far

too much in common.

the number 25 shows

up so often for both of us that

i’ve suggested we both

stop using quarters.

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