And So it Must Always Be~

In the before moments

As you hold tight while trying to let go

Waiting for that last breath

Dreading that last breath

Holding your breath waiting for that last breath

Gasping in your breath as he exhales his last breath

Long Live Love

As you sit and stand and pace and stare

Wondering at this new world of without

With only your breath in it

Where once the two of you breathed the same air

Restless and sleeping but not sleeping til you don’t even know what it is to sleep and wake rested

Long Live Love

As you stumble and fall and get up and fall again

And determination and grit lock your knees and stand you up day after day

While you can’t imagine living

But you aren’t dying even though you don’t understand how you aren’t dying

Because how can you not die of a broken heart

But you somehow keep living

Long Live Love

And birthdays and anniversaries and death days seep into one year and another

And the missing-ness is impossible and unbearable

Yet here you are still

Determined and broken and broken but determined

And all you know to do is let Love be stronger until it becomes bigger and more powerful than anything and everything else...

Long Live Love

Showing 5 reactions

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  • indie
    commented 2017-10-07 08:15:04 -0700
    your question: Is my intense longing for my husband ever going to be less agonizing?

    approaching five years in January and for me I could almost consider the longing to be worse. my husband died and on that day I buried me.
  • Lucy Lettis
    commented 2017-10-06 11:27:09 -0700
    Beautiful. The first stanza left me BREATHLESS. Thank you for putting words to that last, agonizing moment that, I know, will live vividly with me “in real time” forever….
  • Carol
    commented 2017-10-05 09:08:33 -0700
    Thank you for having the words that I can not find! Is my intense longing for my husband ever going to be less agonizing? It will be a year since his last breath our breath.
  • Frances L. Fieser
    commented 2017-10-04 17:33:40 -0700
    Yes! Yes! Yes!
  • Pam Hartman
    commented 2017-10-04 17:28:10 -0700