Accepting Fear

Last week, I wrote about dealing with fear. More specifically, the fear of more bad things happening. Of the feeling of waiting for the other shoe to drop. I think it’s normal when you’ve experienced any major loss to begin to fear another one coming. So for the past six months or so, I’ve been having an increasingly big fear of someone else in my life dying or some other horrific thing happening.

Since writing last week’s post, I feel a little bit better about all of this. They’re still there… but it felt kind of like giving myself permission to have those feelings by sharing them aloud.

I think that’s the great thing about sharing our fears and struggles… it takes some of the heaviness out of it. It gives us permission to feel how we feel. I definitely felt a weight lifted off having shared those feelings out loud. And maybe even more importantly, it helped me to accept that I felt that way.

I think for a while now, I’ve been fighting all the fearful feelings. I’ve been avoiding them and trying hard to distract myself. Since sharing those feelings though, I’ve felt more able to accept those fears. It’s amazing how much more manageable they become when you allow them to be there and remind yourself that it’s totally okay sometimes to feel that way.

This past few weeks, and months really, have been a good reminder to me that it’s important to share the things we are struggling with. It helps us feel accepted, and find acceptance of our own. It’s not as if we can just erase the feelings that we struggle with, after all. So the next best thing I think is learning how to allow them to be there, and remembering it’s totally okay to feel scared, or sad, or overwhelmed. This past week, writing here helped me with that a lot.

Showing 5 reactions

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  • Janice Richardson
    commented 2019-04-02 22:15:01 -0700
    Thanks for this post. In a few days it will be 11 years since my husband died suddenly of a massive heart attack. My dad died 2 months later to the day and my mom 6 months later. I lost our businesses and my home in the 2008 housing market crash. The feelings that something bad is going to happen and some sudden tragic event will happen, are still there if something triggers it. Recently it happened and I was totally shaken/rattled by it. It was frustrating and painful but after taking a Lemon Balm tincture my spirits have lifted and my nerves have settled down.

    My heart goes out to all of you who experience this too. I know it is really hard. Keep being brave, trust life’s bigger picture and be gentle with your precious hearts.
  • Kelley Lynn
    commented 2019-03-14 19:09:33 -0700
    Don , your comment made me laugh lol. Sarah, I agree that it helps enormously to share with this community and to write it all out . The fears are so real and terrifying, it feels good to just put them somewhere sometimes, instead of hiding or ignoring them.
  • Bobby Atwal
    commented 2019-03-12 14:29:14 -0700
    Thank you for this. I also know what it means to fear the death of more loved ones. Every time my daughter get sick, I feel this fear that comes up and I have to remind myself that just because her grandmother and mother died of cancer, it doesn’t mean that my daughter also will get cancer too.
  • Meredith Wakefield
    commented 2019-03-12 12:46:16 -0700
    I lost my husband this time last year. I am experiencing the same feelings of fear. We were supposed to go to Holland, but he died, and I just couldn’t bear to go without him. So, I am headed to Prague and Copenhagen next month with my sister and her friend to see our nephews. We are traveling on the day that my niece committed suicide three years ago. My sister and her friend had just arrived in London when they heard the terrible news. I’m afraid that something bad will happen because of the date and the fact that my sister and her friend were in Europe on that day. I’m afraid the plane will crash. I’m afraid that my mother will die when we are away. I’m afraid I will lose someone else again. I don’t want these fears to overwhelm me as we approach what I’m sure will be a wonderful trip. As long as nothing bad happens …
  • Don Yacona
    commented 2019-03-11 11:29:11 -0700
    In my case, the other shoe drops so often you’d think its tap dancing