Karen Lawrence

  • commented on Widow Tired 2019-07-22 19:03:22 -0700
    Thank you for this. I really wish I didn’t so completely understand and relate to what you’re saying here. As a teacher, I have summers off, but July is when we were married and August is when he died. I find myself in such a funk during the summer that I don’t end up accomplishing all the projects I need to do in my time off. After 7 years, I know I need to push myself a bit harder because no one else is going to do any of this for me, but as you said, it’s all so exhausting. Good luck to all of us.

  • commented on Another Sunday 2019-07-19 17:21:54 -0700
    This. So this.

  • commented on Normalish 2019-07-15 18:02:47 -0700
    Oh how I wish I didn’t understand and identify with what you’re saying here. It’s been almost 7 years now and I feel stuck. As an elementary music teacher I have the summer off, but July is the month of our wedding anniversary and he died in August. Summer is when I have the time to do all the projects I can’t get to during the school year, but I find myself kind of paralyzed and unable to find motivation to do anything. It’s so frustrating.

  • commented on The E.R. and July 2019-07-14 22:53:14 -0700
    Wow. Just wow. Hugs to you and prayers for no more trips to the ER. Your book has meant so much to me. Thanks so much for sharing your stories.

  • commented on You Feel Far Away 2019-07-03 17:15:52 -0700
    Almost 7 years for me. I so completely understand everything you wrote here. Tough time of year for me. July is the month of our wedding anniversary and August was the month he died. Definitely taints the feeling of summer.

  • commented on This Uncertain Terrain~ 2019-07-02 17:03:47 -0700
    How I wish I didn’t understand this so well.

  • commented on Summer Has a Feel ... 2019-06-30 19:48:36 -0700
    7 years in August for me. I have summers off (public school elementary music teacher) and used to love summer vacation. While I’m glad to have the time off to recharge, most of the joy is gone. Doesn’t help that our wedding anniversary is in July. There’s so much I need to get done around the house and yard but I find myself still overwhelmed/paralyzed because there used to be two of us to handle everything. Ugh.

  • commented on Thinking, and Overthinking~ 2019-06-26 17:28:24 -0700
    I have been thinking so much lately about exactly what you wrote here. And I mean exactly what you wrote here. I’m coming up on 7 years in about a month and a half. I really hope I can be happy again on my own and not have to partner up to feel that lightness again. I’m so conflicted. I was so happy with my late husband and really have no desire to date, but am afraid I may never be truly happy alone. As you said, it’s all so frickin’ exhausting.

  • commented on Empty Act 2019-06-11 18:18:44 -0700
    “We are not “okay”, but we aren’t altogether not okay. We just are.” So perfectly said. I’m glad my friends don’t understand this yet, but it’s also so hard that they don’t get it. I’m at almost 7 years and while the grief has gotten softer, it’s always still there. The loss of our shared past and the future we’ll never have is ever present.

  • commented on Strongish at Best 2019-06-05 19:29:39 -0700
    2 days ago I was talking/complaining about the multitasking situation and having to do all the work two of us used to do with my also widowed hairstylist. And I can totally relate to feeling okayish. And most of the time I’m tired of being strong.

  • commented on "By Now..." 2019-06-05 19:12:33 -0700
    It will be 7 years for me in August and I can totally relate to thinking I’d somehow have it more together by now. I too miss the fearless person I used to be.

  • commented on Tightrope Walker 2019-06-03 21:43:54 -0700
    Thank you. It’s somehow comforting to read in print what I think in my head but don’t have the words to say. Walking a tightrope is a perfect analogy.

  • commented on Where Are You Mike? 2019-05-21 21:46:02 -0700
    Well said. I’m a little over 6 & 1/2 years and it still sucks. Still hard to believe after all this time.

  • commented on 6 Years of Tired~ 2019-05-07 17:20:55 -0700
    This. So exactly how I feel. Also sick and tired of being sick and tired. It’s been a little over 6 1/2 years for me. Thanks for the solidarity.

  • commented on Hollow Inside 2019-04-30 17:28:02 -0700
    So well said. Thank you. 6 1/2 years for me and still empty inside, but much less than when the grief journey began. Still having a really tough time envisioning my future.

  • commented on Closer 2019-04-20 19:19:31 -0700
    Wow, just wow. You have a way of putting into words the exact way I feel about things, but don’t know how to say them. It’s comforting to read that others are going through similar things. Thank you.

  • commented on Facade 2 2019-04-16 19:02:57 -0700
    So very true. I too try to be grateful for having known my husband. I started doing that the first Lenten season after he died because it was something my church suggested we “take on” rather than focusing on “giving up” things for Lent. It was about 7 months after he died, and I definitely felt the beginnings of a shift away from my anger at his death. It’s been 6 and a half years and it’s still a struggle, but over the years the grief has definitely gotten softer. I’ve accepted that it is something I will live with for the rest of my life because it is a reflection of how deep our love was.

  • commented on When Hard Days Come 2019-04-08 17:06:29 -0700
    So very true.

  • commented on It Gets Softer 2019-04-02 16:51:39 -0700
    Beautifully said. My biggest regret is waiting too long to try to have children when my husband wanted to be a father so much. By the time we started trying, my body decided it was too late. Had a miscarriage at almost 12 weeks and then 2 other miscarriages at about 8 weeks. It’s been 6 1/2 years for me now, and I still have problems being happy about others’ kids and grandkids. Just lost one of my closest friends unexpectedly about 5 months ago which kicked up the grief tsunami all over again. Hoping for softer soon.

  • commented on Dealing with Fear 2019-03-11 19:18:22 -0700
    So glad to hear it’s not just me. I lost one of my closest friends 4 months ago suddenly to a massive heart attack. He was 64. Lost my husband 6 1/2 years ago quickly to cancer. I was 48 and he was 51. My parents are 84 and 87 and while they are pretty healthy they’re still up there in age. I worry about every little new pain I get. I’m so tired of being afraid. It’s exhausting.